


Nobody wants to be alone

by amaryllis (Lilly0)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Family, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Family, Family Feels, Fluff, M/M, Marvel Universe, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Romance, Steve Rogers Feels, Superfamily (Marvel), Superhusbands (Marvel), Teen Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Top Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-06-10 23:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15302520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly0/pseuds/amaryllis
Summary: Just a domestic family-like story, in which Tony watches over Peter as a parental figure, and Steve has to deal with his growing feelings for Tony.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted to write some domestic Avengers who are like a big family and still go on their missions. And I obviously can't without Tony and Steve secretly craving for each other. There will probably be feels, family fights and other typical genre stuff. 
> 
> Other side-pairings might pop up over time.

Steve stares. Turns his head away again, rubs his eyes, before looking again. Like, is this a dream? Is he still dreaming? Walking in his sleep? 

 

It just can’t be real.

 

“Stop staring,” Tony complains, slight annoyance in his voice. “It’s creepy.”

 

Still not sure if he is dreaming or not or if Clint or Sam… or maybe Clint  _and_ Sam are trying to trick him, film him, make fun of him, and got Tony to help them, because of course Tony would be more than willing to participate in something that would make a joke out of the Cap.

 

“How long has he been standing here?” Natasha asks when she pushes past Steve, approaching Tony. 

 

“Five minutes, maybe even longer,” Tony grins. “He acts like he is from last century…” A break. Tony’s grin broadens. “Oh…wait.”

 

Natasha chuckles. “Need help?”

 

“Yeah, cut the tomatoes.”

 

Tony looks at his tablet, skimming over a page he has opened. “This is science, I swear.”

 

“Should I get Bruce to help you?” Natasha asks. “You know…science…”

 

“No,” Tony mumbles in highest concentration before he rolls his eyes at Steve. “Snap out of it, Rogers. It’s not like I’m running around naked or masturbating on the counter.”

 

Actually Steve would have found that less disturbing, if he is honest. He almost blushes at his own thoughts. What is he even thinking… 

 

“I’m cooking, Steve, cooking, not sacrificing a child. So either help or leave,” Tony huffs, but there is a hint of red on his cheeks, like he is actually embarrassed.

 

It’s this look on Tony’s face that makes Steve finally move, approaching Tony with a careful smile on his lips. He softly tugs at the flower-printed thing he is wearing. 

 

“What are you doing?” Tony asks, raising his eyebrows. 

 

“Maybe he wants to undress you?” Natasha suggests with a grin.

 

Steve has to hold back a nervous chuckle. Truth to be told he wouldn’t mind to undress Tony, and finally see the man underneath the suit, the man beneath the sarcasm and the teasing attitude. The whole man. The real man. He would love to see Tony for real, no games, no hiding, no teasing – okay, maybe a bit teasing, but in a way where Steve can tease right back. 

 

Steve doesn’t quite get it himself, what he is thinking here, and why, he just knows it’s a thought which is coming back to him regularly. It started months ago, maybe even earlier, the thought small first, like a seed that started to grow the moment he stopped seeing Tony through judgemental eyes, through his prejudice, because Tony didn’t fit into his image of a typical man. Steve had to learn for himself that there is a lot more to Tony than what meets the eye – or the ear. That the man behind the name Tony Stark is a lot more difficult and complex and interesting than he first thought.

 

At the beginning when they first met Tony was a nuisance to him. For years they bickered, argued, thought with each other and against each other. Steve made decisions he regrets now, and maybe Tony regrets some of his too. But at least it brought them here now. 

 

And Tony grew into someone he doesn’t want to miss in his life ever again. He can never say these thoughts out loud though. Tony would probably think he is an idiot. The Captain falling for a man… it sounds like a joke. “Is this an apron?” Steve asks instead of all the more urgent questions he actually wants to ask.

 

“No, it’s my new summer dress.” Tony snickers, before he throws his arms in the air dramatically. “Of course it’s an apron.”

 

“And why are you cooking?” Steve asks, still amused.

 

“My cook is sick, and Peter is leaving for school any minute. I’m just being pragmatic, and responsible.”

 

Makes sense, Steve thinks. Of course. 

 

“But why you?” Steve asks. “You are a man.”

 

Natasha puts the bowl in her hand down with more force than necessary. It hits the table with a loud clank. “Right,” she says, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Maybe I should call Wanda. You know what, Tony, just call your cook and tell her you don’t need her anymore, after all you have me and Wanda!”

 

With that she stomps off, leaving Steve slightly flabbergasted. “What was that?” he asks in surprise. “Did I say something wrong?”

 

Tony sighs deeply. “Just don’t say anything about cooking… and men… and women… You know, nothing that makes you look like a stereotypical old-fashioned patriarchal asshole.”

 

Before Steve can open his mouth, Peter jumps into the kitchen. “Mr. Stark, I-“ He pauses, staring at Tony in disbelief. “You are making my breakfast? No way…” He grimaces. “Is it even edible?”

 

Steve frowns. Somehow Peter’s tone and the way he belittles Tony’s efforts pisses him off. This brat. “Tony went out of his way to cook for you,” he scolds. “Show him some respect and thank him for it!”

 

“Woah, yeah… I’m sorry.” Peter raises his hands in defence and looks slightly flustered. “I’m sure it will taste great,” he stutters and takes the plate Tony offers him. “Thank you.”

 

Tony is surprisingly quiet once Peter left, worrying Steve immediately. “I said something weird again, right?” He sighs, 21 st century… it sucks.

 

To his surprise Tony shakes his head. “You know, on a second thought, occasionally you are allowed to let out your chauvinistic cliché male superhero persona from the 40s.”

 

It sounds like an insult, but at the same time it doesn’t. Understanding Tony is difficult; Steve has learned that a while ago already. It’s not always just sarcasm or teasing. 

 

Sometimes there is more beneath Tony’s words, sometime there isn’t. 

 

Sometimes he wants to slap the grin off Tony’s face, sometimes he wants to kiss it away.

 

He has never known a person like Tony. And he is sure he will never get to know someone like him again. That’s how unique Tony is to him.

 

Tony tugs at his apron, taking it off. “We have a meeting in ten minutes,” he says, suddenly the old, usual Tony again. The one who doesn’t prepare breakfast for a 16-year old brat he is mentoring. Steve almost feels reluctant to let this other version of Tony leave so fast. 

 

“Take your time, Steve,” Tony says, and it sounds almost fond. “Rome wasn’t built on one day either.”

 

Steve nods tentatively, before he shows Tony a warm smile. “You know, I actually find it really admirable.”

 

“Admirable? What?”

 

“I don’t find it weird that you can cook, just wanted to set that clear.”

 

“Is that so?” Tony says, his voice sounds a bit uncertain. Steve decides to set it clear further.

 

“It’s admirable how you try to look after Peter, and that you can cook,” he says earnestly, smiling slightly. “There is nothing you can’t do.”

 

He turns around too fast. Had Steve looked at Tony for a few seconds longer, he wouldn’t have missed the slight blush crawling over Tony’s cheeks. He would have seen the surprise in his eyes and the hint of joy. 

 

When he turns to look at Tony again though, the moment is already over, and Tony looks all normal. “Thank you,” Tony says. 

 

Steve blinks. Does Tony’s voice sound hoarser than usual? 

 

Tony rolls his eyes at him. “What are you looking at? You coming, or what? I'm growing old waiting for you.”

 

Steve tilts his head. No, he was probably just imagining things. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea yet where exactly this is leading me, but I want to write something... comfortable. I'm not excactly good with fluff (LOL) so there will be a bit drama and arguments and misunderstandings, but I just love the idea of the Avengers living together like this big family. XD And I have a thing for Tony acting as Peter's father figure (and Steve too?), and Steve having problems dealing with 21st century... and unspoken feelings between Stony... and... I just want it all in a fic XD
> 
> I still haven't decided on which characters should appear (except for the ones mentioned in the tags), but I think I will just allow the story to evolve (I think I'm going to add Stephen though, because jealous!Cap is hot, isn't he? ><)
> 
> So, what do you think? *anxious*


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve doesn't know how to handle the new phone Tony bought for him. Peter decides to help (or so he thinks). Steve and Tony get closer.

“Here.”

 

Steve looks at the device Peter just handed him. “Thank you,” he says warily. “But what am I supposed to do with it?”

 

“It’s a phone,” Peter tells him in disbelief. “Mr Stark bought it for you. The new IPhone. You are so lucky!”

 

Steve wonders for a split second if he should maybe give it to Peter instead – he really seems to want it badly – but Tony would probably be pissed at him then. And he would be right to be angry. You don’t give a present to someone else.

 

He takes the phone in his hands, weighing it carefully. Feels lighter than his flip-phone. That’s all he can say.

 

“I’ve already installed all the apps for you,” Peter explains.

 

“Ah,” Steve nods. What?

 

“Like WhatsApp, YouTube, Insta and… Do you want a Tumblr account?” Peter pauses, looking at Steve expectantly.

 

“Do you think I need one?” Steve asks warily.

 

To his surprise Peter just laughs. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, right?”

 

“Not even remotely,” Steve admits.

 

“You do know how to write a message though, don’t you?”

 

Steve shrugs. “I knew how on my old phone,” he sighs. This one doesn’t seem to have any…buttons.

 

Peter looks horrified for a moment but recovers fast. “6PM, 10th floor, my room. You need all the hep you can get.”

 

Steve chuckles in light amusement at the seriousness in the kid’s voice. He decides to go with it, he wants to get to know Peter better. Tony is pretty close to him after all, while he and Peter did not have the best of all starts. “I’ll be there.”

 

“Great, and bring some snacks!”

 

 

~~~

 

Steve wonders what kids nowadays like to snack. He spends almost an hour in the kitchen, pondering what to take along, until Bruce saves the day and helps him get some chips and other stuff Steve isn’t too fond of.

 

Ten minutes later when he knocks at Peter’s door, he realizes with relief that his (or rather Bruce’s choice of snacks) where right, because Peter snags one of the bags with corn chips and beams. “My favourite!”

 

On a second glance though Steve wonders if he should have rather taken along some healthier stuff because a glimpse on all the junk tells him he won’t eat any of that.

 

Peter takes Steve’s phone. “We’ll start simple,” he says earnestly, while chewing on a chocolate bar. “Messaging…”

 

~~~

 

Peter has saved his own number on Steve’s phone. And Tony’s.

 

Steve drops down into his bed, he has had an overdose of modern devices and teenagers for today. Jeez not even the last mission made him that exhausted, not even war made him that tired.

 

He takes his new phone in his hands and looks at it sceptically. Why did Tony actually buy him one? What was he thinking? Why did he buy Steve… something? Well, Steve takes a breath, here goes nothing.

 

_Hi Tony, thanks for the phone._

 

He decides to add one of these creepy smiling faces to the message. He wants to go for the cool one, with the sunglasses, but accidentally sends a grumpy one.

 

Steve sits up. _Wrong face. I meant:_ He adds a new one. _This._

 

What the… a vomiting face? He frowns – is this a joke!? Why can’t he choose the right one? _No wait._ He types in a simple smiling face now and sends it.

 

Finally.

 

Tony calls him half an hour later. “You know,” he sounds amused. “Your messages sounded like you were having a mental breakdown.”

 

“I was close to it,” Steve says, slightly amused himself by now.

 

“Steve,” Tony sounds surprisingly serious. “I can always switch your IPhone against an older, less complicated model.”

“No,” Steve says to his own surprise, suddenly feeling protective of this annoying device. It’s a present. Tony bought it for him. Tony. And he appreciates the gesture. “I’ll somehow tame it.”

 

“Care for a late night snack?” Tony asks.

 

Steve blinks. “I wouldn’t mind, but when are you going to be here?”

 

“Oh.” He can almost hear the grin in Tony’s voice. “I’m calling you from the kitchen in the upper floor.”

 

Steve needs some time to take in the information, then he frowns. “You are here already, yet you call me?”

 

“I knew you would find it funny!”

 

~~~

 

“Very amusing,” Steve says dryly. “I can’t stop laughing.”

 

Tony doesn’t even try to hide his amusement, just grins brightly. Steve would have been annoyed normally, but he has to admit that it’s kind of… amusing, even to him. The tiny part of his annoyance which remains disappears once Tony offers him some roast beef. “From my favourite restaurant,” he explains.

 

Steve smiles contently. “Finally real food.”

 

“Let me guess: Peter just inhaled garbage today?” Tony wants to know.

 

“Exactly.”

 

“You do know, he is basically just walking over you and Bruce when I’m not here?” There is no real teasing in his voice, just slight concern.

 

Steve takes some of the fresh bread Tony offers him. He frowns. “You are the only one he listens to, you know that.”

 

“Are you pouting?” Tony asks with a smirk.

 

“I am not.”

 

“You totally are.” Tony laughs. And it’s such an open laugh that it warms Steve’s heart immediately. It’s rare for Tony to show his real emotions so openly, to laugh from the bottom of his heart.

 

It’s beautiful. He has a beautiful laugh.

 

Steve doesn’t know how it happens, but suddenly he has his hand around Tony’s wrist and they are standing a bit too close to each other.

 

“Careful,” Tony says, voice hoarse. “You are stepping on dangerous ground.”

 

“When I joined the army,” Steve retorts. “I was a midget. I’m not scared of danger.”

 

Tony stares at him for what seems forever. “This has catastrophe written all over it.”

 

“Really?” Steve pulls his eyebrows up. “In which language?”

 

“Well, if it all goes downhill from this moment on,” Tony muses. “I can always blame it on a drink too much.”

 

“You didn’t even drink,” Steve points out.

 

“Shut up.” Tony frowns. “Jeez, Steve. I don’t even get what you want or why you want me now, out of all. Like, come on. Righteous and straightforward Captain. And you want me out of all? And don’t give me that shit about how opposites attract each other. There are statistics that say-

 

Steve wraps his arms around Tony’s waist, tugging him closer. He nuzzles his nose against his hair, lips brushing over his cheek, barely touching. “I’ve wanted to do that from the moment I first saw you.”

 

“Now you are lying.”

 

“Fine, from the moment I realized that beneath Iron Man’s suit and his snarky attitude there is so much more. He is caring and kind and generous, witty and funny.”

 

“Didn’t know Captain America was that delusional,” Tony bites out, but Steve can feel how he relaxes in his arms. He smiles.

 

“I’m not without mistakes either,” Steve points out.

 

“Now that’s the understatement of the century,” Tony retorts.

 

“I’ve wanted you for a long while Tony.”

 

“I don’t get it,” Tony mumbles. “You are immune to modern devices and have troubles adapting to modern society, but you have no issues flirting with a man?”

 

“Yes,” Steve answers calmly.

 

“Yes?” Tony asks in disbelief.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ye-“

 

Steve covers Tony’s mouth with his hand. “Didn’t you just say, we should shut up and blame it on the inexistent alcohol?”

 

Tony’s lips curl into a smile against his hand, and Steve _knows._ He just knows. He pulls his hand away, taking Tony’s face between his hands, for a moment taking a closer look, taking in all the fine lines, the little almost invisible scars that remained from fights and wars, the expression in Tony’s eyes – something between expectant, anxious and impatient – he tries to see it all, everything that turns Tony into Tony. Then leans forward.

 

Tony meets him halfway.

 

It’s a tentative kiss – Steve hasn’t expected it to be like that – actually he hasn’t expected anything at all, because he didn’t plan on kissing Tony right here, right now… or… at all. He has never imagined he would be brave enough to go for it, and that Tony would actually allow him to.

 

He has dreamed about kissing him, but never thought it would happen.

 

If he had planned it though, he would have rather believed it would be a rough kiss, a battle of dominance maybe.

 

But it’s so soft, and warm, and his stupid heart suddenly beats almost too fast.  He feels like he is 15 again.

 

Tony draws back, he looks flushed, but  weirdly content. The he grins, and grabs Steve by his shirt. “We can do that better,“ he smirks.

 

Steve grins as well, curling his fingers around Tony’s neck, pulling him closer and smashing their lips together. When he pushes Tony against the kitchen table, and Tony kicks half of the stuff from it, it feels less surreal and more real. It gets even realer when Tony sits down on the empty space on the table, wrapping his legs around Steve’s hips and tugging him closer.

 

Steve wavers for a split second. “We eat on that table,” he stutters. Actually he couldn’t care less right now.

 

“Well, then,” Tony grins. “Bon appetite!”

 

He indeed is 15 years old again, because his brain cells switch themselves off, and without thinking further he tugs Tony’s shirt open, ignoring the buttons he is ripping off.

 

Tony grabs him by his neck and pulls him down on top of him.

 

 

 

Three rounds. They have a lot of stamina. For the last one they end in Steve’s bed. When Steve wakes up again, he notes how Tony is angling for his shirt. “What are you doing?” he mumbles.

 

“Well,” Tony stutters. “This is your room, you know?”

 

Steve doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like it that Tony puts on his shirt again, and looks at him so uncertain. He honestly doesn’t understand, he is not sure how to react. “You don’t have to leave,” he finally says, not sure if that’s what he is supposed to say.

 

Apparently it was the wrong thing to say. Because Tony throws him an inscrutable glance and swiftly puts on his clothes. “I know, I don’t _have_ to,” he says before he leaves.

 

Steve drops back into his bed. He wishes Tony would have just stayed, so that they could sleep next to each other, snuggle. He wants to see Tony’s face first thing in the morning when he wakes up, not the empty space in his bed. He is… He just doesn’t know… he is so bad with this. What does Tony even want him to do? What is he supposed to do?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Peter would have a field day with making fun of Steve. It's just too easy for him :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen returns, and Steve is not happy about that. Meanwhile he tries to make things right between himself and Tony.

  
Stephen returns. Stephen, the wizard, the magician, sorcerer, or whatever he really is. Out of all Avengers and superheroes he is probably the only one Steve doesn't know at all. He wonders if he has actually exchanged more than five words with him already.  
  
Stephen is completely in Tony's team. Steve shakes his head, he tries not to think in teams and sides anymore. It's more like that Stephen is in Tony's circle of friends. They were stuck with each other in space, they fought side by side and probably grew closer that way. Stephen is Tony's friend, and he doesn't really care about anyone else here. Minus Peter.  
  
"That's Stephen Strange," Tony introduces Stephen to them all, in his completely Tony-like manner. "You all know him already. He promised me, he is trying to be nice."  
  
Stephen snorts, not even sparing them a word. He just nods at them, before turning to look at Tony. "I didn't promise anything alike."  
  
"We talked about this, Stephen," Tony looks at the guy in mock-innocence.  
  
"No we didn't," Stephen argues." Peter just pestered me to come earlier. And you told me to bring some stuff for the workshop. So actually I'm just here because of you."  
  
Steve feels something inside him tug. He doesn't like the way Stephen looks at Tony and talks to Tony. He knows jealousy is a petty feeling, and he actually never saw himself as a jealous person, but seriously, he wishes he could punch that condescending smirk from the wizard's face.  
  
Before he can follow anymore destructive thoughts a very excited Peter interrupts him. "Stephen, you are here already!"  
  
"Don't act so surprised," Stephen snorts. "You called me yesterday at midnight."  
  
"Oh really." Peter grins. "Maybe I was walking in my sleep?"  
  
"Of course, what else."  
  
"And did you bring something along for your favourite teenage superhero," Peter asks, batting his eyelids innocently.  
  
Stephen's lips tugs. "Yeah, I couldn't risk being sent away again just because I forgot to spoil you." He hands Peter a package before he turns to look at Tony again. "I'd like to settle down first. My room is the same as always?"  
  
"Of course," Tony nods. "It's always free and prepared for you."  
  
"Great, thank you." Stephen nods towards Tony. "Talk later?"  
  
"Sure. Just give me a call."  
  
~~~  
   
"You should really eat your vegetables," Rhodey tells Peter while cutting a few tomatoes into the omelette he is preparing. "All these fried stuff and chips and chocolate are not good for you."  
  
Peter shrugs. “But all of you eat it."  
  
"I don't" Rhodey argues.  
  
"Me neither," Steve adds. He has always thought that Peter should eat healthier.  
  
"Okay, everyone except the both of you." Peter throws a glance at Bruce and Natasha. Bruce at least has the decency to look flushed and tries to hide the muffins on their plate.  
  
"They are all a bad example," Rhodey grumbles, annoyed. "And your father too."  
  
Peter blinks. "Huh?"  
  
"Who are you calling his father?" Tony asks, taking his third cup of coffee."  
  
"You!" Rhodey huffs and points at the cup. "You drink too much coffee."  
  
"I like coffee."  
  
"And I like cake," Peter points out.  
  
Tony looks cute with his ruffled hair, he always looks a bit messed up when he just got up. It's weirdly endearing. Steve has to fight the urge to pull him in a hug and nuzzle his nose into his hair.  
  
"You do know that I'm not really his father, right?" Tony points out, raising his eyebrows.  
  
"Closest from all of us," Rhodey argues. "The kid looks up to you."  
  
Steve doesn't know what it is but the tone in Rhodey's voice... soft annoyance.... fond exasperation... it unsettles him. Not because Rhodey talks like that to Tony, but rather because Steve can't. He wishes he could talk to Tony like this.  
  
"Say, Mr. Stark?"  
  
"I told you to call me Tony."  
  
"But." Peter looks flustered. "Is that really okay?"  
  
"You call everyone else by their first names," Tony states, sipping at his coffee. "No big deal, kid."  
  
"That's a bit different."  
  
"How?" Tony wants to know.  
  
"Because you are...you," Peter explains, shifting around on his seat.  
  
"You don't want to call me by my first name?" Tony inquires.  
  
"No, I do!" Peter's voice sounds almost eager. Then he pauses. "I will try." he adds, and suddenly looks happy. He leaves shortly afterwards and once he has, Rhodey turns to look at Tony, eyebrows raised.  
  
"Fine," Tony gives in, sighing dramatically. "Give me some of that vegetable omelette. But if you even look at my coffee, let alone touch it, I'll bite your finger off!"  
  
Rhodey grins, he probably knows he just won. And also that it's fucking hard to win against Tony. "Can someone hand me the salt?" he asks.  
  
Steve reaches out, absent-mindedly reaching for said item just to feel his fingers brush against a warm hand. His eyes snap open, head turning just to look into Tony's equally surprised eyes. Suddenly it feels like little electric jolts run through his body.  
  
He pulls his hand back, noting with guilt how Tony looks almost hurt for a moment. But Tony recovers fast, and his expression is back to normal within seconds. He hands Rhodey the salt. "Here," he says casually, voice only a bit higher than usual.  
  
Bruce blinks. "Everything alright?  
  
"Sure," Tony states, taking his phone and looking down at it.  
  
Rhodey frowns, looking from Tony to Steve, back to Tony before staring at Steve again, eyes narrowed.  
  
~~~  
  
"You should really take a break."  
  
Tony spins around, almost hitting his head in the process. "Careful," Steve points out.  
  
"Steve," Tony says in a bland voice.  
  
"Yeah." Steve shifts around a bit. "You have been working all day, right?"  
  
"Probably."  
  
"Did you eat something?" he wants to k now.  
  
"Steve," Tony sighs.  
  
"Tony," Steve repeats. He tries to look stern for a moment, but the nervous tone in his voice betrays him.  
  
"I just had some crackers."  
  
"Want to eat..." Steve pauses. "Together?"  
  
Wow, who would have thought that two consenting adults, two friends, would act so awkward around each other after a one night stand. Well, being friends or whatever... not knowing what they are... doesn't really make it simpler.  
  
"You don't have to do that," Tony says after a while. "Listen Steve, I wanted it as much as you did. There is no need to feel guilty or regret anything."  
  
"Regret?" Steve asks in disbelief. "You think I regret it?" He takes a step closer to Tony. "The only thing I regret is allowing you to just walk away the next morning and not holding you back."  
  
"You don't love me, Steve," Tony answers in a matter-of-fact tone. "That's okay. It’s fine to just want to have sex."  
  
Steve frowns. "Would you allow me to decide myself who I love?"  
  
Tony sighs. "You don't even get anything out of being with me."  
  
"What is the problem, Tony?" Steve huffs. "Is it really so hard to believe that someone just likes you for being you?"  
  
There is a certain look in Tony's eyes, one that makes Steve want to pull him in a hug immediately. "I'm sorry," Steve says softly. "That came out wrong." He reaches out his hand, noting how Tony winces slightly, like he is afraid Steve would hit him or tell him he was worthless. Or both.  
  
Maybe someone once did, Steve thinks, feeling anger at whoever did that Tony.  
  
He carefully cups Tony's cheek, moving his thumb over the soft spot beneath his eyes, before tracing the lines of Tony's face with the back of his hand, his knuckles brushing over Tony's soft skin.  
  
Tony closes his eyes, he looks more relaxed now, and Steve swears to himself he is going to look after Tony well. Make sure he gets some rest, sleep, and all the love he deserves.  
  
"What are we doing here?" Tony asks after a while. "I thought..." He pauses. "Tell me, Steve."  
  
"You are a mystery," Steve states. "I want to know more about you."  
  
Tony rolls his eyes. "Oh dear," he sounds exasperated, but also somewhat... pleased. Steve is not sure if Tony is truly convinced by whatever it is between them, but he is certain that with time he can make him believe in it.  
  
Tony reaches out his hand too, thumb brushing over Steve's beard. "I like your beard."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Hm, tickles when you sucked at the inside of my thighs last night." Tony grins. "I would love to know how it feels when you suck me off."  
  
Steve smacks Tony playfully before moving closer to Tony. He kisses Tony's neck, tongue licking over his collarbones teasingly.  
  
"Fuck you, Steve," Tony mumbles.  
  
Steve grins. "Language," he jokes, before he pulls Tony into a kiss, Tony's back is pressed against the desk behind him, giving him hardly room to move. Tony indulges, he is almost melting in his arms.  
  
Tony chuckles when they draw apart. "I can't believe you are admonishing me and then kiss me like that."  
  
"Oh, believe me," Steve teases right back. "There a lot more things I'm going to admonish you for."  
  
The edges of Tony's lips tug into a smile while the fingers of his right hand dive through Steve's hair, grabbing some strands and pulling him closer. "When you say it like that," he smirks. "I feel like I really want to be bad."  
  
Steve kisses him again. "So," he says. "Dinner?"  
  
"Wow, this model is able to make a full emergency stop."  
  
Steve grins. "If you finish your dinner, I might consider serving your dessert in bed."  
  
"And admonish me there?" Tony grins.  
  
"As much as you want."  
  
Tony pulls him in a sudden hug. "Steve," he says both amused and fond. "Only you can say something like that with such a serious face."  
  
"Well," Steve chuckles. "I'm surrounded by quite some rivals. Rhodey is overprotective of you, Peter looks up to you and doesn't like to share your attention, especially not with me, and that unfriendly Doctor looks at you way too intensely for my liking."  
  
Tony bursts into laughter. "Stop the joking!"  
  
His laugh sounds so open and honest that Steve doesn't have the nerve to tell him that he was being serious. Instead he just hugs Tony closer, pressing his lips against his forehead. "I'm not going to disappoint you," he says.  
  
"I hope so," Tony answers quietly. "Because I'm sure I will disappoint you. You have to be strong and certain for the both of us."  
  
 Steve sighs, hating the way Tony tends to look down on himself. "Trust me," he says. "I will prove to you just how great we two are together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Stephen returns, and his presence will be interesting, I promise. :D  
> And Steve finds out... he has an actual jealous side to him. Also, I hope you noticed that Peter might not really like Steve and Tony being together, not much at least. *hint*
> 
> As always, comments, feedback, suggestions etc are loved and appreciated!! ♥


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter does not approve!

"No way," Tony sounds slightly exasperated, but also amused.

 

Peter frowns. "Why not?"

 

"Because I said so," Tony answers calmly for the fifth time. Steve wonders how he can remain so patient. He hands Peter a box with Wan Tan soup they bought from the Chinese takeaway around the corner. Steve's favorite.

 

Peter glares. "That's not an explanation."

 

"You want an explanation?" Tony looks up, more serious now. "Fine, I give you one. It's Wednesdays. And I'm not letting you go on a college party on a weekday. Actually I'm not letting you go on a college party at all, because guess what... you are in High School and not in college."

 

"But-"

 

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Tony rolls his eyes like he is frustrated at himself. "But end of discussion. It's my last word."

 

He leaves the room shortly afterwards, leaving a grumpy Peter behind, and Steve. Peter turns to him, eyes wide, like a little puppy. Steve grins. "Don't look at me like that." He shakes his head. "You heard what he said. He is right, you know?"

 

Peter looks at him like he just stabbed him in the back.

 

"You know what," Steve tries to reason. "We could... do something else instead. How about we go out Friday evening?" he offers.

 

"Are you for real?" Peter asks in surprise. "You mean, we will actually go out and have some fun?"

 

"Yeah, if you'd be okay with it, that's it."

 

"Oh, that would be so cool!" Peter beams. "But will Tony allow it?"

 

"I'm pretty sure he will," Steve smiles.

 

Peter likes Tony the most, he knows that and he loves it that out of all it's Tony who found a way to this kid. It just proves how good of a guy Tony truly is. He is way better as a mentor and father figure than anyone every thought he would be, including himself.

 

Peter likes Tony the most, which is awesome. And he likes Stephen the second most, which bothers Steve to no end.

 

The grumpy, arrogant Doctor. Everyone says he resembles Tony, but Steve begs to differ, because Tony is funny and cute and charming and kind... to everyone. Stephen just seems to stay with himself, he only likes Tony and Peter.

 

"So, what do kids nowadays like?"

 

"You are asking me out of all?" Bruce asks, laughing slightly. "I'm really your best option to go to for this kind of advice?"

 

"Clint is with his family right now, I can't ask Tony, and everyone else would suggest something I'll hate or not approve of," Steve chuckles.

 

Bruce nods. "How about you ask him?"

 

"You mean Peter?"

 

"Yeah, why not?"

 

Actually not a bad idea, Steve thinks. Peter shall decide where they will go to.

 

 

~~~

 

"That's so cool" Peter grins, hopping alongside Steve. "I'm going out with the Cap in person."

 

Steve smiles carefully. "You see me every day, Peter. It's not that special."

 

"Not the same. Today I'll see you in new territory!"

 

Steve blinks. "Territory?"

 

"You know, drinks, music, stuff like that. I can't quite imagine you in anything...modern," Peter blabs along. "No offense intended!"

 

"No offense taken," Steve grins. God, that kid is... likable. "So, where do you wanna go to?"

 

"Surprise," Peter laughs.

 

Steve will later blame it on his absent mind, because he was thinking about how Tony had kissed him just a few minutes ago, then his thoughts shifted towards Rhodey, and how Rhodey hadn't talked to him much since they all reconciled, and about how he could make things less awkward between Tony and Bucky... and Clint... actually between everyone. That's why he didn't notice the smirk on Peter's face.

 

Kids are dangerous, really. Even the likable ones.

 

"What's that?"

 

Peter looks at him like he has actually lost his mind. Honestly he has no idea anymore how to pretend to at least have a clue about modern society and pop-culture. "A club."

 

"I know what a club is," Steve sighs slightly. "But... does that mean nowadays minors are allowed to go into clubs?"

 

"Sure, if they are with an adult," Peter explains.

 

Steve tilts his head, still skeptical, but Peter looks at him so innocently that he shoves his doubts aside. He has no reason not to believe him. "Well, then let's go inside."

 

~~~

 

This evening appears to have one more positive thing aside of hanging out with Peter: Steve now knows he hates modern house and party music, drinks of any kind are ridiculously expensive and too colorful, and they have stupid names... and he has learned to never trust a teen, even if they seem to be so innocent and look at him with puppy eyes.

 

It's around 11 pm and despite the annoyingly loud music and the masses of drunk people, Steve does have some fun, mainly because Peter indeed warms up towards him and tells him about his school friends and about the girl he apparently likes.

 

Peter is midway in his sentence, when his eyes suddenly snap wide open. "Oh, shit!"

 

"What happened?" Steve is about to turn around and look in the direction Peter is staring at, but Peter immediately grabs his arm.

 

"Don't look," he whispers. "It's too obvious then."

 

Steve frowns. "Peter, what's going on?"

 

"The police," Peter explains swiftly, eyes shifting around nervously. "It's a raid."

 

"And?"

 

Peter looks away, expression guilty. "I'm a minor."

 

"But didn't you say-" Peter at least has the decency to look guilty. "Oh my god."

 

"What are we going to do?"

 

For a moment Steve is inclined to just let the police bust Peter (and himself in the process) just to teach the kid a lesson, but then he thinks about Tony, and about Peter's reputation, and... damn it. At least all the years on mission have made his brain work even in unknown stress situation. "Go to the toilet," he commands, while grabbing his phone. "Wait there, until I pick you up."

 

Peter nods, and swiftly disappears.

 

Once he is away Steve types in Tony's name, with a deep sigh pressing the call button. Tony is probably going to kick his ass for letting this happen.

 

"Steve?"

 

"Hi Tony, listen-"

 

"Wait a moment, I can hardly hear you," Tony sounds surprised. "Where are you?"

 

Steve decides that all the excuses, explanations and apologies for sucking at watching out for Peter can wait for later. "I need your help!"

 

~~~

 

"I can't believe we are doing this," Steve sighs while he carefully follows Tony's instructions. Peter is right behind him - his spider webs came in really handy as he was able to open the manhole right behind the toilets of the club. He and Steve sneaked into the staff's area there and with Tony's help found their way down... here...

 

"I have to admit, I've already crawled through an air vent," Peter muses. "But never expected to escape through the canalization."

 

"Could have lived without that experience," Steve states bluntly.

 

"Go right at the next cross-road," Tony's voice from the other end of the phone pulls him out of his gloominess. He is a bit surprised that Tony didn't already verbally rip him apart with his sarcasm or told him how useless he is at watching his favorite teen.

 

And a horrible role model.

 

Jeez, he sucks.

 

~~~

 

Tony already awaits them, visibly impatient, an unusually worried expression on his face. And he looks majorly pissed. In any other situation Steve would find all these emotions mirrored in Tony's eyes interesting, it's such a rare sight after all, but he has other problems for now.

 

"He looks like a nazgul," Peter whispers.

 

"A what?" Steve blinks. He has no idea what a nazgul is, but he assumes it's someone who is angry.

 

"We-" To Steve's surprise Tony stares at Peter, eyebrows furrowed, he looks scary. "-need to talk." He has crossed his arms in front of his chest, and it strikes Steve for the first time just how important this kid has to be to Tony to react like only a father would.

 

"But," Peter stutters, again eyes wide and innocent. "It was just a misunderstanding."

 

"What?" Tony huffs. "Do I look like an idiot that I would believe that?"

 

Peter probably understood that whatever excuse he has Tony won't really buy it, so he stays quiet and just shifts around nervously. Steve would have almost felt sorry for him if he didn't smell like sewage water and dirt.

 

Tony sends Peter away before he turns to look at Steve. "Are you okay?" he asks, suddenly sounding apologetic. "I'm so sorry things turned out that way, Steve. I should have known..."

 

"I just need a shower," Steve says with a slight smile, still trying to understand Tony's reaction.

 

Tony nods. "I'll bring you a towel."

 

He hurries away immediately, and Steve takes the chance to freshen up in the shower. He has no problems with actual mud or dirt or sweat, but the canalization was a new level of gross, and he honestly never wants to set foot there again.

 

He is just stepping out of the shower again when Tony is back with a huge fluffy towel, and a smaller one for Steve's hair. "Say Tony," Steve eyes him curiously. "Aren't you mad?"

 

Tony blinks. "Of course I am. I'm going to kick his ass."

 

"No, I mean at me." Steve shakes his head, rubbing his hair dry with the smaller towel. "For sucking at babysitting."

 

Tony laughs slightly and hugs him from behind.

 

"Careful," Steve chuckles. "I'm wet."

 

"Yeah, wet and too gullible," Tony jokes.

 

Steve grins and turns around in Tony's embrace to face him. "Are you calling me naive?"

 

"It adds to your otherwise so stoic charm."

 

Steve sighs. "I got completely tricked."

 

"I know."

 

"And it sucks."

 

Tony tilts his head slightly. "Also that...I know," he admits before he stretches a bit to kiss Steve softly. "But it's not your fault." He touches Steve's stomach, tracing his muscles with his thumb. "Now I'm depressed," he sighs dramatically.

 

Steve looks down at him, confused. "What? Why's that?"

 

"Your body!" Tony exclaims, like he is actually making any sense.

 

Steve catches his wrists before he can pull away. "You are a very attractive man, Tony, and you have a great body."

 

"This compliment doesn't count anymore," Tony states dryly. "You said it after I said it. It's not genuine anymore."

 

Steve fights the urge to roll his eyes and instead grabs both Tony's wrists, tugging him closer. "How about," he leans forward and whispers into Tony's ear. "I'll visit you later tonight and show you my very genuine positive opinion of your body."

 

Tony stares at him, eyes wide and cheeks slightly flushed. "That was..."

 

"Hm?"

 

Tony grins slightly. "I'll wear my best underwear for you."

 

Steve laughs.

 

~~~

 

For now though he retreats to his room as Tony has other things to do first. Steve doesn't mind to relax a bit, a book in his hand he settles down on his sofa. The silence doesn't last long though as there is a sudden knock at his door.

 

"It's open."

 

He is surprised to see Peter. An unusually nervous looking Peter with his very usual puppy eyes. It has to part of his superpowers. "May I?" Peter asks, looking weirdly down.

 

Steve puts his book aside. "Come in." He eyes the kid thoughtfully, wondering what this was about now. "If you want to lure me somewhere and make me do something weird, the answer is no."

 

Peter's lips tug into an almost-smile. "Do you think an apology will do?"

 

Steve tries hard not so smile. "Well...try me."

 

Peter smiles and closes the door behind him before he drops down next to Steve on the sofa. "What are you reading?"

 

"Political essays," Steve answers, voice flat. Peter blinks, making Steve smirk. "Just kidding. It's a book about legends and myths. You know... I read actual literature too. I'm not that much of a walking cliche."

 

Peter blushes. "You are not cliche... well...not much."

 

"You are doing a horrible job at apologizing," Steve states dryly.

 

"Please don't tell Tony," Peter begs. "He is super-pissed. He said..." Peter tilts his head thoughtfully.

 

"What did he say?" Steve asks, not able to hide his curiosity.

 

"Kind of...that I'm taking advantage of your kindness... and that I risked your reputation and name by forcing you into doing something illegal. That I lied to you, and that you hate being lied to."

 

"That's what he said?" Steve asks in surprise. "Are you certain?"

 

"Oh," Peter snorts half-heartedly. "Believe me, I was there."

 

"Wow," Steve chuckles slightly. "You are right, he really is pissed at you."

 

"Hey!" Peter complains. "You are not helping."

 

"Oh, I'm very very sorry," Steve says while raising his eyebrows.

 

"Fine," Peter gives in. "You are allowed to make fun of me... a bit... and only today."

 

"Peter," Steve chuckles. "Tony likes you, he probably never cared for someone like he cares for you. He is going to get over it in no time."

 

"You sure?"

 

"A solid 60% certain," Steve teases.

 

"What?" Peter exclaims. "That's not much."

 

"Fine, 99%."

 

"That's close enough," Peter agrees.

 

Steve decides he is done with teasing anyways. "Peter, I have a question which is bothering me since we ran from the police."

 

Peter looks at him curiously. "Tell me?"

 

"You don't like me much, am I right?"

 

Peter blushes furiously. "Tony said you would think that," he scratches his forehead. "But that's not it, I swear."

 

"I fought against you."

 

"Yep," Peter grins. "And I kicked your ass too."

 

"You did," Steve chuckles.

 

"I was so cool."

 

Yeah, Steve thinks, no wonder Tony likes this kid. "So, what's the problem then?"

 

Peter shrugs. "It's just super-easy to trick you. I wanted to drag you to a porn exhibition next, but I don't think Tony would take that well now."

 

"That's all?" Steve blinks. "It's just because I'm from a different century and it's easy to make fun of me?"

 

"Yeah," Peter says, looking slightly embarrassed. "Sorry."

 

Steve frowns. He just doesn't really buy it. "So you don't hate me," he analyzes carefully. "But you don't like me..." He pauses. "...with Tony." He knows he hit the truth once he said it. It's obvious. So obvious. How come he only sees it now!? "You don't like me together with Tony..."

 

"What..." Peter stutters.

 

"Listen," Steve says softly. He leans back a bit, rubbing his temples thoughtfully. "I know why you feel that way. And I would probably feel the same if I were in your place." He pauses. "But I love Tony, I swear I do, I have never felt for someone the way I feel for him, and I promise you I'll never hurt him again."

 

"I know that," Peter admits quietly. "I actually know it. Tony looks happy when he is with you."

 

"I don't always understand him," Steve admits. "He is interesting, and complicated, but also fascinating. I appreciate all his kind sides, and accept all the difficult ones. I know, I sometimes do a crappy job at being considerate towards him and understanding him, but I'm genuinely trying to learn more about Tony every day, so that I can protect him and his feelings. I didn't try enough before, but now I will give it my all."

 

"Man," Peter sighs. "Why do you have to be so honest."

 

"Let's make a deal," Steve offers. "If you think I hurt him or do him wrong, you are officially allowed to kick my butt again."

 

"Really?" Peter asks in surprise. "It's just... You can't promise me or anyone that you will never hurt him," he says.

 

"That's true," Steve admits quietly. "But I can cross a certain line."

 

"And if you do I can call you out for it?"

 

"It's a promise," Steve says. "What do you say?"

 

"Deal!" Peter nods contently before he leans back. "So now that we dealt with that, could you tell me what to do about that girl I told you about?"

 

Steve blinks. "You want to talk with me about girls?"

 

Peter nods.

 

"Why don't you ask Tony or Stephen?"

 

"Ugh," Peter grimaces. "It would be way too embarrassing."

 

Steve blinks, slightly surprised but he can't deny that he feels happy about it too. He has worried so much how he can find a place in Peter's life, and what role to be for him that it never occurred to him that he could be like a big brother to him. He likes that.

 

~~~

 

Steve shifts around carefully not to wake Tony up. "I can't believe it." Tony grumbles. "Too early."

 

Steve presses a kiss against his forehead. "Just getting us coffee and breakfast," he says softly. "Stay in bed. Okay?"

 

Tony smiles tiredly. "You are cute."

 

Steve takes that as a yes and carefully sneaks out of the room. When he comes to the kitchen, Stephen and Peter are already there, eating their breakfast. Steve smiles at them while he takes two cups and fills them with coffee.

 

"Say, Stephen," Peter asks innocently. "Do you mind me going to that party next Friday?"

 

Stephen looks up from his coffee. He has one of these looks that makes one feel slightly inferior immediately. "Do you suffer from a short memory or are you actually trying to trick me?"

 

Peter pouts. "It was worth a try. Tony grounded me and I'm bored."

 

"Should I feel sympathetic now?" Stephen asks. "How could you do something so stupid? Besides, I don't even get the appeal of parties."

 

"Yeah," Peter sighs dramatically. "That's exactly the vibe you give off."

 

Steve secretly thinks he is right. He has to hide a grin.

 

"Peter," Stephen sighs. "What do you even want from me now?"

 

"Can't we play a game?" Peter asks. "I would love to play _Through the Ages_ again."

 

Stephen looks at him, then he sighs deeply. "For Christ's sake, fine. But only one round!"

 

"Great!" Peter beams. He jumps up about to hurry out of the kitchen. When he passes Steve, he pauses. He eyes the two cups of coffee for a while, apparently still struggling with himself to accept their relationship but then he smiles slightly. "He likes flavor in his coffee."

 

Steve blinks. "Really?"

 

"Caramel is one of his faves. He also likes whipped cream on it."

 

"Is it still a coffee then?" Steve asks in surprise.

 

"My words exactly." Stephen mumbles. "I don't get how these two can drink that."

 

Steve smiles warmly. "Thank you, Peter."

 

When he returns to his bedroom, he finds Tony awake, albeit a bit drowsy looking. His eyes widen. "Wow, the coffee looks great! Did you also put flavor into it?"

 

"Yeah, caramel and vanilla. Hope it's not too sweet," Steve smiles.

 

"Impossible." Tony chuckles. "Everyone always thinks I like my coffee black or just with a hint of milk."

 

"Admittedly I had a little help," Steve chuckles. "Someone spilled your secret to me."

 

"Oh really?" Tony smiles, amused.

 

"And then the same someone manipulated Stephen into playing a game with him."

 

"Really, what are they playing?" Tony chuckles.

 

"Through the Ages, I think."

 

Tony laughs heartedly. "Stephen will be busy until lunch then or even longer. I played it once with Peter and Bruce, and then decided to never touch it again because it's so freaking long. But you know... this also means..." He grins. "No one will miss us for quite a while."

 

Steve smirks, putting his own cup of coffee aside and crawling back on his bed, approaching Tony. "Is that so? Then let's continue where we stopped last night~"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Peter is just too nice to sabotage Tony and Steve in any way, but... hey... he is allowed not to be happy, right? XD  
> Also I'm convinced Peter and his puppy eyes will win against everyone. 
> 
> And do you think Stephen will actually play that game to its end or rage-quit in the mid of it? XD This is one long-ass game... 
> 
> We are going to look at a few more issues such as lack in confidence next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is afraid Tony won't like him anymore if he shows his real self too often. He also realizes Stephen knows more about Tony than anyone else. Meanwhile Tony gets hurt and Steve tries to make him relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating R for this chapter. Because... well... Steve decides he needs to tire Tony out. *coughs* *hint* *wink*

If he had to name one, only one, the biggest flaw he has, he would say it's how he tends to just not say what he feels and keeps wearing a mask of perfection instead. He is supposed to be strong and not do any wrong, he is supposed not to make others worry. He is Captain America. No one can see him fail, weak, petty.

 

But he is. He knows, he can fail, he did fail, and he did fail others. He can be weak, and petty, and do wrong. Just like any other person.

 

But he hides it. He has mastered hiding it to perfection. And sometimes it feels like he is betraying those around him, those close to him. Like he is a scam.

 

Or maybe his biggest flaw is his jealousy.

 

Or both. Because jealousy is petty, and he hides it. All of it.

 

Jeez.

 

Up to now Steve didn't even have jealousy on his personal Steve-failure-list. He didn't know he could feel that way, at least not out of no valid reasons, but Tony has changed him. Or rather, Tony makes him see things he didn't realize about himself before.

 

He wishes he could just shrug it off. He could just shove this feeling aside, hide it or better kill it. But he can't.

 

The problem is that Stephen just knows Tony so well. They have just met, and yet he seems to understand Tony in a way Steve can't.

 

Steve wishes he could just ask Tony: Tell me more about you. Tell me everything, no matter how unimportant you think it is, because to me every part of you is important.

 

But he doesn't dare to ask Tony. Tony would think he is an idiot.

 

~~~

 

"These are really good," Vision goes through Steve's sketch book. "You are so talented, Steve." He smiles slightly, a teasing yet kind gleam in his eyes. "I see a pattern though."

 

"What kind of pattern?" Natasha comes closer, curious.

 

"Well," Vision chuckles warmly. "Tony sleeping, Tony in his workshop, Tony working on his suit, Tony drinking coffee, Tony and Peter, Tony-"

 

Steve rips the book from his hands before he continues. "Just a coincidence," he mumbles, feeling his cheeks heat up.

 

"Right," Natasha grins. "You know Vision, Tony has always been his favorite theme. Not a new pattern!"

 

"Really?" Vision asks in interest.

 

"He has painted and sketched Tony way before already. He told me once that Tony has very prominent features, and he wanted to practice painting them, that's why..." She smiles slightly. "Then at one point he told me, drawing Tony would make it easier for him to get to know him better, because they didn't get along well. And then-"

 

"Okay okay," Steve raises his hands in defense. "Please have mercy."

 

Vision chuckles.

 

"Are you finished with making fun of me now?" Steve asks hopefully.

 

"Truth is," Vision says honestly. "I'm actually just happy for you."

 

"Same here." Natasha smiles. "Took you long enough, Cap."

 

"Thank you," Steve smiles, feeling a warm feeling spreading in his chest. "It really did take me long.... Was a long road."

 

"It led you to each other at one point, so no matter how long it was, you guys turned the wheel yourself," Vision says thoughtfully.

 

Steve sighs. "Rhodey doesn't seem to be happy though."

 

"That's more complicated, I guess," Vision says diplomatically as always.

 

"I know," Steve answers quietly. "I know."

 

The fact that Rhodey is protective of Tony doesn't bother him, actually he is relieved that Tony has such a loyal friend at his side. What bothers him though is that Rhodey would prefer someone else at Tony's side, someone who is not Steve.

 

He wished he could talk to someone about it and just ask for advice.

 

~~~

 

"What's that!?" Steve looks at some bruises on Tony's arm. He carefully takes his wrist and turns his arm slightly, taking a closer look at it. Some of the bruises look particularly angry, they are almost black. "Did you get hurt? Let me take a look at it, okay?"

 

"Nothing major," Tony chuckles.

 

"Don't listen to him," Rhodey's voice comes from behind. "I know this tone. It actually is implying that it is something major and that you will find much more if you search for it."

 

"What happened?" Steve urges.

 

Tony sighs in defeat. "I was trying out a new... gadget... on my suit. While flying."

 

"And?" Steve asks, while inspecting the huge blue dots on Tony's neck. Like how many of them are there?

 

"It didn't work," Tony says lightly. "And I crashed."

 

Steve stares at him in horror. "You mean you dropped from the sky?"

 

"Yes, that's normally what happens."

 

"Are you nuts!? You can't just drop from the sky!"

 

"I drop from the sky all the time," Tony points out. "It comes with the job description."

 

Steve raises his gaze to stare at his cute but reckless lover, not sure if he should feel worried or pissed now.

 

"I think, I hurt my rips too?" Tony tries, making puppy eyes. "Don't be mad now?"

 

"Okay, it's okay," Steve reassures him, before turning to look at Natasha. "Where is Bruce?" he asks. "Someone needs to check on Tony."

 

"He is not here," Natasha states. "Went to an exhibition."

 

Steve sighs slightly. "Do we know anyone else?"

 

"Well." Natasha looks almost apologetic. "Strange is here."

 

Steve holds back a sigh. This is not the time for petty feelings, he needs to make sure that Tony is alright first, that's more important!

 

~~~

 

Tony has asked Steve to wait outside. Steve doesn't quite understand why... maybe Tony feels embarrassed, maybe he doesn't trust Steve enough, or maybe... Whatever it is, there is no discussing with someone who is hurt.

 

He just hopes Tony didn't break anything.

 

He isn't sure how long he waits but it feels like forever until Stephen shoves Tony out of the door again.

 

"Is everything alright?" Steve jumps up, his chest tightening in worry. "What happened?"

 

"Nothing is broken," Stephen reassures him immediately. "Just strained. The rips in particular. He needs proper rest."

 

"I'm alright," Tony mumbles, but it sounds like he is on autopilot. He has even forgotten his jacket, heading back into Stephen's room to retrieve it.

 

"Painkillers," Stephen explains when they are alone. "Hey Rogers?"

 

Steve looks at him. "Yes?"

 

"Just be nice," Stephen says.

 

Steve looks at him in surprise and confusion. "But... am I not nice normally?" he asks in suddenly horror. Jeez, did he pressure Tony too much, is he too pushy?

 

"No, no, that's not what I mean," Stephen says, surprisingly sympathetic all of a sudden. "I meant to say, that you need to be nicer than usual. It's..." he pauses and looks to the side for a moment.

 

It sound so cryptically that Steve instantly knows that he is holding something back. He can't ask though because Tony is back again, and Stephen closes the door.

 

~~~

 

Steve holds Tony's hand, leading him to the elevator, noting with relief how the drowsiness seems to wear off. But Tony seems to be caught in his thoughts, so much that Steve has to prevent him from running against a door.

 

Tony doesn't seem to notice it though because he suddenly starts chatting with Steve, like he wants to prove he is okay. Steve knows he hates to show his weak sides, and ask for help. He doesn't know why, maybe it makes him feel... like a burden. But he isn't! He is never a burden! No one is as strong as Tony is. He is not a soldier, he also never went through a training like Natasha did for example, he just turned from a normal person to a superhero and had things done to him which would have driven anyone else crazy.

 

Steve just wants to ensure that Tony gets some rest now, and that he can relax. Maybe a bath? Maybe he can do something good for Tony now, like-

 

"You are mad at me, aren't you!?" Tony suddenly blurts out. "I'm sorry, Steve. I'm okay, really."

 

"Why do you think I'm mad," Steve asks confused. He closed the door of their room behind them, before he pulls Tony into a comforting hug.

 

Tony looks at him in surprise. "You didn't say anything. All the way from Stephen to our suite."

 

"That's because I was thinking about what to offer you," Steve hurries to explain. He was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn't even realize that he didn't react to Tony's chatting before. So that's why Tony kept talking the whole time. "Like I need to get some food into your system, but do you prefer something healthy or fast food now? Should we order something in? I could also cook something for you! And I would like to make you relax... I was thinking about how to do it. I know you won't go to sleep unless I make you relax properly. And are you allowed to take a bath? What do you want, Tony? What can I do for you? I would love to stay with you now, so please don't send me away."

 

Tony looks at him through wide eyes. "These are an awful lot of thoughts for such a short period of time." He smiles and leans into Steve's arms. "Order something in, whatever you want, I really don't mind. Stephen said, I just need some rest because I worked too much, but I really am not hurt except for some bruises. And yes, I can take a bath." He looks at Steve again, eyes shifting around nervously. "Would you like to join me?"

 

Steve raises his eyebrows, smirking at Tony, his hands moving under Tony's shirt to feel the warm skin there. He brushes his hands up Tony's sides and down his chest. "Only," he whispers into Tony's ear. "If you will let me do everything."

 

"Steve..." Tony stutters. A shiver goes through his body. Tony is bold, but only when he is the one who sets the pace and takes the lead. He is normally the one who asks Steve to do things to him... who pulls him on top of him... but he gets embarrassed the moment he is in the center of attention and gets showered with affection.

 

Steve's hands move up Tony's chest, thumbs circling around the spot where there used to be arc reactor in his chest. Then he moves his hands up Tony's neck, the fabric of Tony's shirt stretching dangerously through the movement of Steve's arms.

 

Steve bends forward, biting into Tony's earlobe softly before his tongue moves down the long line of Tony's neck.

 

"Okay," Tony says breathlessly, his voice hoarse. "I'm all yours."

 

"Raise your arms," Steve prompts. Once Tony obliges, he helps him getting rid of his shirt. He takes his time, cherishing Tony's upper body, hands and lips moving over the warm skin, kissing every inch. His teeth scratch over Tony's nipples slightly, sending a shiver down Tony's spine. He carefully avoids all the bruises on Tony's body, only kissing them tenderly. The he moves downwards, unbuckling Tony's belt and removing every piece of clothes until Tony is completely naked.

 

Tony's cheeks are flushed, eyes glassy, when Steve moves his fingers down his butt.

 

"A few weeks ago you said something," Steve smiles teasingly, before he goes down on his knees. "About how you want to know how my beard feels when I suck you off?"

 

"Steve...what..." Tony's eyes go wide. "Are you really..."

 

"You thought I wouldn't do it?" Steve raises his eyebrows, wondering how the heck he suddenly got so bold himself. But the look in Tony's eyes spurs him on. He grabs Tony's legs, spreading them slightly, before he nips at Tony's inner thighs sharply. "Apparently I need to tire you out properly or you won't rest~"

 

Tony's fingers brush though his hair. He moans when Steve licks the spot he just sucked at. "While I'm standing?"

 

"Exactly," Steve smirks. "I need to punish you for dropping from the sky," he teases and strokes Tony's dick lazily. "But feel free to grab my hair for balance. I have a high pain tolerance." He gives Tony's dick a tentative lick, tongue brushing over the tip of it.

 

"Fuck, Steve," Tony curses.

 

"Maybe later," Steve teases, before he takes all of Tony in his mouth. He feels Tony shiver, hears him moan. The grip against his hair is getting stronger with every nip and lick. He is probably going to lose some hair, but he doesn't mind.

 

He starts slowly, not adding much pressure to his lips first, instead using his tongue to lick over Tony's length. When Tony's breath starts hitching, his moans getting slightly more desperate, he adds one of his hands, fingers wrapped around the base of Tony's cock tightly, the other hand rests on Tony's hips to give him more balance.

 

He adds pressure to his lips, taking in all of Tony's length until the tip hits his throat. He is not in for teasing anyway, he just wants Tony to feel good. He curls his tongue around the tip of Tony's cock, pressing against it, his fingers wrapped around the base tightly, brushing up and down.

 

"Steve," Tony rasps out. "I'm coming!"

 

Steve smiles slightly. "Of course you are."

 

Honestly, he is sure Tony had better blow jobs before, he is also sure – or rather knows – that Tony himself is better, much more experienced, but Tony doesn't seem to mind at all. He seems to genuinely enjoy what Steve does to him, eyes dark and clouded by lust.

 

Steve decides to push him over the edge, lips and tongue working the tip of Tony's cock while his hands stroke the length in a fast, steady rhythm.

 

Tony moans out his name.

 

Steve lets him ride out his orgasm, before he loosens the grip on Tony's hips carefully, catching him before he drops on the floor. Tony's legs shake slightly, when he settles down on his knees. He wraps his arms around Steve's neck, resting his head against his chest. "Fuck, Steve, if that's how you are going to punish me from now on, you have not seen me bad yet. I'll make sure to have more reckless accidents~"

 

"Better not try me," Steve tries to sound stern, but the fondness and amusement in his voice betray him.

 

"Thank you, Steve." Tony sighs contently. "That was amazing." He chuckles all of a sudden. "And your beard felt great. Right amount of scratchy. "You may repeat that."

 

"Good to hear," Steve smiles, feeling embarrassingly proud at Tony's praise. He massages Tony's shoulders softly. "I love you, Tony."

 

Tony goes still for a moment before he kisses Steve's chest. "I love you too."

 

"No one has ever talked to me like you did, you are sarcastic and teasing, you called me out for all kind of things, and I first thought... how irritating, but actually I felt attracted to you immediately. I just knew... there is more I see in you than just an ally and friend."

 

"Stop it, Steve," Tony's cheeks are tinged in a soft pink. Steve swears it's the first time he sees him blush for real.

 

"Really," Steve grins. "THIS is what makes you embarrassed? Last week you stripped for me and rode me, but when i tell you how special you are-"

 

Tony covers his mouth with his hand. "Shut up," he says gruffly.

 

Steve smiles. "Fine, let's get into that bathtub instead," he gives in, placing a kiss against Tony's palm. He doesn't want to unsettle Tony, but he needs to make sure that from now on, he is going to tell him regularly what he means to him, and what he appreciates about him.

 

~~~

 

The water feels warm and comforting. Steve hasn't realized how tensed his muscles are. Tony steps into the tub right after him, settling down in front of Steve and leaning his back against his chest.

 

"We should do this more often," Tony sighs happily.

 

"I just thought the same."

 

"Steve," Tony turns his head to look at him. "You need to talk more and think less."

 

"I know Tony." Steve wraps his arms around Tony's chest and pulls him closer. If he is being honest now, in this moment it's him leaning against Tony, searching for comfort in his arms, not the other way round.

 

Tony brushes his fingers over Steve's arm, he doesn't say anything. He is just there.

 

~~~

 

"You really need to be more careful," Steve grumbles when he inspects Tony's body later. There are some particularly angry looking bruises on his sides.

 

"It's going to heal," Tony chuckles.

 

When Steve frowns and looks at him, Tony takes his face between his hands. "Don't give me that look."

 

"Which look?"

 

"The the-Cap-is-disappointed-and-disapproves-look." Tony chuckles.

 

Steve blinks. "Is that a thing?" he ask, before he adds. "The Cap does disapprove."

 

Tony bends forward, pecking Steve's lips.

 

"You are not playing fair," Steve complains.

 

"And here it is again," Tony squeezes and pulls at Steve's cheeks until Steve gives in, and laughs. "I mean, not that this expression of yours can't be hot, like when we are in bed."

 

Against his intention Steve has to snort. "We are in bed," he comments dryly. "I'm just worried, Tony. You push yourself a lot... sometimes."

 

"Thanks for adding sometimes," Tony says, amused. "I just... this is my work," he explains. "Steve, every mission is a danger to us."

 

"That's why I think when we can avoid getting in danger, we should try to be careful," Steve answers seriously. "A new gadget is awesome, but why not try it with a safety net... like a second person watching for emergencies."

 

Tony stays quiet for a while. "You are right, I guess."

 

"I am!?" Steve pretends to gasp. "I should have recorded that. Oh wait, I'm going to print it on my shirt!" He grins when Tony hits him in the face with a pillow. Before he can smack him again, he grabs his wrists, pulling him into a kiss.

 

Tony smiles slightly. "Now you are the one who isn't playing fair."

 

"I'm for equal opportunities, you know?"

 

Tony laughs. "Fine," he gives in. "You won. You may even print it on your shirt, as it doesn't happen often."

 

Steve smiles while he lies down next to Tony, pulling him into his arms from behind. This feels good, it's also the first time he talked with Tony like this. It's a first step in the right direction, he assumes, because there is probably more he doesn't know yet. Stephen's weird implication comes to his mind again. It makes him nervous and slightly anxious. All the things he doesn't know yet.

 

But he decides it can wait a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow... Steve comes off almost depressed in this chapter, or is it just me? I re-wrote some parts of it, but realized he still seems a bit depressed. Then I decided: Okay, you won, Steve! You want to be moody!? Fine! - So, apparently that's how he is in this chapter *lol* 
> 
> I guess they both need to stop hiding things from each other. Like, they love each other, but are both afraid to scare the other off or hurt him.  
> It might get a tiny bit ugly next chatper, just saying. 
> 
> What do you think Tony is hiding? And why does Stephen know?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony get into a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for guys being idiots *lol* Don't tell me I haven't warned you ^^  
> Also this update comes so late, I'm sorry! More detailled explanation as to why at the end of the chapter.

"You look like you need a drink," Natasha hands him a glass with gladly not-colorful liquid. "Whiskey," she grins. "I heard from Peter that you complained non-stop about those sugary colorful cocktails.

 

"He told on me?" Steve chuckles.

 

"It's Peter, what did you expect?" She grins. "He can't keep a secret. Plus, you are dating his favorite person, you know?"

 

"Oh," he snorts. "Believe me, I know."

 

"Tell me," she smirks. "How come you were tricked into going to a club with a minor? And did you really escape through the canalization?"

 

Steve sighs dramatically. "I will never hear the end of it, will I?"

 

"The whole story is just too good," Natasha states mercilessly, while she sits down next to Steve at the bar.

 

"I have to admit I had brighter moments," Steve smiles. "Peter didn't like me with Tony. I should have known. I still think I'm not his first choice."

 

"Who is his first choice?" Natasha asks softly.

 

Steve turns his head, looking in the direction of Tony. He is currently bending his head over something Stephen shows him.

 

"Oh, Steve," She puts her hand on his arm, squeezing it. He is eternally thankful for the fact that she doesn't comment on how ridiculous his thought is. She probably also knows that – at least partly – it's the truth. A reality he has to expect.

 

"They have a connection," Steve mumbles. "That's what unsettles me. I can’t deny it."

 

"But you also have such a relationship to someone," Natasha smiles encouragingly. "You have a connection to a friend, to Bucky."

 

"Nat," he smiles slightly. "It's different. We all know it is. It's like Tony and Rhodey." He pauses. "Tony doesn't open up easily, but he did to Stephen. Stephen understands Tony, better than anyone else, and he only needed a few weeks to understand him. Tony talks to him, he tells him things he won't tell anyone else, including Rhodey or me. Everyone has secrets, and that's fine of course, but when it's about the things moving Tony deep inside, issues, problems, he locks me out. But with Strange..."

 

"Maybe," Natasha's voice is wary. "But you are forgetting something."

 

"What's that?"

 

"He chose you. No matter what Peter thinks or what Rhodey wants, or what anyone else sees, he wants you. He loves you. He is with you, not with Stephen. He chose you."

 

"I..." Steve blushes. "I know. I know it. I know he is sincere and loves me. But I..." He pauses, not sure how to continue.

 

"Did you ever tell him," Natasha wants to know. "What you told me?"

 

"No." Steve shakes his head. "He will either think I'm stupid, get mad or laugh."

 

"Or he might take your worries seriously." Natasha shifts her glass between her hands. "You said, he is hiding things from you. But aren't you doing the same?"

 

Natasha's words hit something in him. She is right, he knows she is. But what he didn't tell her is that it's not just his uncertainty bothering him, it also freaking hurts to know that the people closest to Tony don't want them to be together. He knows Tony thinks differently, and he probably doesn't even know what the others think, but Steve just... Shit, it hurts.

 

He also doesn't tell Natasha that whenever he looks at Tony and Stephen it feels like something is stabbing his chest.

 

Jealousy is such a low character trait. He hates that he can't get rid off it.

 

~~~

 

Tony returns from a mission. He smiles and seeks Steve's presence immediately, but when he lies in Steve's arms at night, it almost feels like he is seeking comfort there. A barely noticeable shiver goes through his body sometimes, and all Steve can do is hold him tight and warm his body.

 

The next morning everything feels normal again.

 

"I'm really in the mood for going for a late brunch," Tony says while peeling himself out of Steve's arms.

 

"You mean eating out?" Steve wants to know while he angles for his phone.

 

"Yes, you wanna join?"

 

"A morning date with you?" Steve smiles. "Always."

 

Tony chuckles happily. "Even if it's a hipster place?"

 

"As long as they serve coffee and my company is pleasant, I don't mind," Steve teases.

 

Tony smiles, moving his fingers through Steve's hair. "Still having problems with unlocking your phone screen?"

 

"Yeah," Steve chuckles. "Who thought a thumbprint would be a good idea?"

 

Tony grins and pulls Steve's thumb into the right position, unlocking the screen.

 

"This man can even use magic," Steve jokes.

 

"Oh you," Tony laughs. "Silly. You got a message by the way."

 

"Oh right." Steve blinks. "It's from..." He pauses, not sure what to say now. "From..."

 

"Bucky?" Tony rolls his eyes. "Say his name out loud. I can live with it. He is not Voldemort."

 

"Voldemort?" Steve blinks.

 

"Harry Potter. You really need a crash course."

 

"Ah, that's what Peter has been rambling about." He remembers. "I," Steve pauses, wondering how to continue. "You would meet him one day?"

 

"Who?" Tony asks. "Harry Potter?"

 

Steve sighs. "Tony..."

 

Tony stays quiet for a while. "I will, so stop beating around the bush whenever it's about him. It's annoying."

 

"Why?" Steve asks, surprised.

 

"You know, I'm more the straight-forward type of person. When people move around a hot topic like it's poison, I get nervous." He looks to the side, when Steve looks at him. "Because it's important to you. And he is your friend. That's why."

 

Steve reaches out his hand, touching Tony's shoulder softly. "I really don't deserve you."

 

"I know," Tony grins. "No need to tell me every day."

 

~~~

 

Steve rests his chin in his palm, elbow leaning against the table. He watches how Tony eats waffles with chestnut cream and drinks his matcha-latte. "Didn't you say," he grins. "That they would have normal coffee too?"

 

"Open your mouth," Tony commands.

 

Steve snorts, but obliges, allowing Tony to shove a spoon full of the chestnut cream into his mouth. "Yeah, it tastes fine, but you know-"

 

"I know you are more the scrambled egg type of guy. Black coffee. And a piece of toast with some ham on it, or cheese." Tony chuckles. "You need to spice things up occasionally. I'm doing this for you!"

 

"I have you at my side," Steve comments. "You are already spicing up my life."

 

Tony blinks, blushing slightly. "Really," he grumbles. "The things you say."

 

"Did I say something wrong?" Steve asks in worry.

 

"No, on the contrary," Tony shoves his plate towards him. "Eat more of the chestnut cream and stop being embarrassing."

 

Steve grins, not able to hide his amusement. He is almost lured into saying more embarrassing stuff, as Tony calls it, but then he wants to enjoy their little twosome time a bit longer, instead of wasting it with teasing. "How about," he smiles. "We walk back, instead of having someone pick us up. And on our way I could grab a coffee-to-go. And isn't Rhodey's birthday coming up? We could look for a present."

 

"You mean walking down the street, hand in hand?" Tony tries for a joke.

 

Steve smirks. "We are incognito. If we walk a less-crowded path, we could do that."

 

Tony blinks. "Really?"

 

When Steve nods, he smiles. "I have such a good man," Tony says with a warm smile.

 

Now it's Steve's turn to feel embarrassed.

 

"Okay," Tony grins. "Now let's stop that embarrassing behavior, and be men for once. Let's go shopping!"

 

"Never felt that manly before," Steve teases while he follows Tony out of the coffee shop and towards the main street.

 

"Well, I couldn't handle you any manlier than you already are," Tony says bluntly.

 

Steve chuckles. "I'll take that as a compliment."

 

They walk there for a few moments before Tony leads them towards a more secluded area. Steve takes his hand, feeling something warm spreading in his chest. It's joy, and it feels so unusual to feel joy... it's been a long while.

 

"Say," Tony starts after a while. "Were you able to settle things with Peter? I mean, you said you did, but is it better now?"

 

Steve tilts his head, wondering how he should answer this question. Tony halts suddenly, almost making Steve stumble.

 

"It isn't?" Tony asks in worry. "Should I talk to him?"

 

"No!" Steve exclaims in horror. That would make matters worse, he is sure about that. "Tony," he says softly. "I was just thinking about your question and trying to answer it as honestly as possible. You know, the answer is: I don't know. I mean, it is better. Peter came to me, apologized, we talked, he asked for advice." He pauses. "He is a sweet, kind kid."

 

"He is," Tony agrees, obvious relief in his eyes. "What's bothering you then?"

 

"I mean, we were off to a rocky start, and he doesn't see me in the best light, I think." Steve pauses. "In a weird twisted way it's refreshing to have someone face me like he does. He is so honest, and I like that. I think he doesn't trust me to make you happy."

 

"Steve..."

 

"It's just a feeling, Tony. It might not even be true," Steve hurries to explain.

 

Tony looks at him for a while. "Do you believe it?"

 

"What?"

 

"Let's leave Peter out of this. He is a good-hearted kid and he will come around. It's not so much that he believes you aren't good enough for me, it's more like he would probably think of almost anyone not good enough for me. But do you believe it? Do you believe you can't make me happy?"

 

Steve swallows. "Tony..."

 

"No, look at me." Tony tugs at his hand. "Look me in my eyes." Steve does. Tony has a pair of beautiful eyes, they are deep and sharp, and there always is this knowing glance in them. "What do you see?"

 

Tony loves him. His eyes sparkle, he is happy with him.

 

Steve smiles slightly, bending forward and kissing Tony softly. "Sorry," he whispers. "I'm not doubting you, just so you know."

 

"I know," Tony looks up at Steve. "But you are doubting yourself, aren't you?"

 

Steve isn't quite sure what he is supposed to answer to that. He stays silent and pulls Tony closer for a second, glad that Tony isn't pushing the subject.

 

"Come," Tony says after a while, and takes Steve's hand. "We were supposed to find some presents." His voice sounds cheerful, yet also a bit strained.

 

 

~~~

 

Steve doesn't know what triggered him, maybe he just bottled everything up too much. Maybe talking with Tony a few days ago pushed him into thinking more than he already did. He wants to talk to Tony so badly, tell him everything that's bothering him inside, but he just can't bring himself to open his mouth. He wants to. But he can't.

 

He is so frustrated. So fucking frustrated by himself and his inability to express himself.

 

He feels, he knows, that Tony is there to listen. He encourages him sometimes to talk, without even pressuring him. And Steve wants to talk to him so badly. But whenever he tries to, whenever he feels it's the right moment, he just can't.

 

By the end of the week he is sporting the worst headache he ever had. It's this throbbing kind of pain that blinds you whenever you stand up or move your head even slightly.

 

It's no excuse though for what he said.

 

Tony has been looking tired the last couple of days too, drained almost, and sometimes it seems like he is here but not here at the same time. Like thin sand that runs between your fingers. Whenever Steve tries to grasp him, it's like he is trying to catch the wind.

 

Sometimes at night Tony seems to hide in Steve's arms and all Steve can do is hug him and pull him closer and give him as much of his warmth as he has. At day though Tony is more distant, not seeking for comfort, actually sometimes it seems like he isn't looking at Steve at all. He is almost hiding.

 

Steve has the feeling Tony is avoiding him. He doesn't know why. He can't quite put a finger on it yet, he does not have any proof, nothing at all, just a feeling.

 

"Where is Tony?" Steve asks Bruce when he stumbles over him and Natasha in one of the living rooms. He is desperately looking for Tony. He just has the feeling he has to talk to him or he will burst. He just needs to see him.

 

Bruce just points at corridor. "He was with us first and then went there."

 

Steve nods and swiftly follows the direction Bruce's finger was pointing at, wondering for the nth time how Tony even designed and planned this tower. Sometimes it feels like a freaking labyrinth of rooms and corridors and elevators. It took forever for him to somewhat find his way around here.

 

He doesn't find Tony anywhere, and it's more of a loose feeling, an instinct that leads him a floor downwards, right to Stephen's rooms. He takes a deep breath. Please, don’t be here. Anywhere but here.

 

He knocks and opens the door.

 

Stephen holds Tony by his shoulders, like he is hugging him.

 

It feels like an outer body experience. He is watching himself standing there at the door and looking at Tony and Stephen. It feels like something around his heart tightens first, strings wrapping around it, tightening it until he feels like he can't breath.

 

"It's not what it looks like," Stephen says while his glance goes from Steve to Tony and back to Steve, voice even.

 

The worst words ever spoken in such a situation.

 

Steve steps forward and grabs Tony's hand, pulling him away from Stephen, not before throwing said-man a deathly glare. Stephen rolls his eyes but doesn't say or do anything. Jeez, he probably thinks he is so cool.

 

Later he will admit though that in this moment Stephen indeed having the better reaction. Unlike him... he acts more like a crazy nutcase.

 

They made it back to their floor when Tony halts suddenly. "Steve, you are hurting me!" Tony tugs his hand free. "You are acting completely weird."

 

"What's all of this even supposed to mean?" Steve huffs.

 

Tony stares at him. "Huh?"

 

He can't be that oblivious, can he? "Your thing with Stephen?"

 

Tony furrows his eyebrows. "Excuse me, care to repeat that?"

 

"You heard me well enough the first time," Steve huffs.

 

"You are ridiculous," Tony spats out. "I have no thing with Stephen!"

 

"You talk more to him than you talk to me!" Steve argues.

 

"That's not true," Tony sounds angry, but his voice is quivering slightly.

 

Steve looks at him in disbelief, not even trying to hide his disapproval. "And you expect me to believe that!?"

 

"I don't expect anything," Tony huffs. "Who are you to judge anyways!? You are not being honest to me either!"

 

"At least I'm not running around and flirting or making out with others," Steve snaps.

 

"I'm not some kind of whore!" Tony yells.

 

"That's not what I'm saying!"

 

"Then what are you saying?"

 

"Damn it, Tony," Steve hisses, exasperated. "Stop playing your games with me."

 

"How long?" Tony suddenly asks, eyes getting darker.

 

"What do you mean?" Steve asks sharply.

 

"How long do you think I'm actually betraying you?"

 

Steve feels taken aback by the tone in Tony's voice. He sounds... hurt. "I-" he pauses, not sure how to continue.

 

Tony understands anyways. And before Steve can even react Tony has cracked his palm across his face. "Fuck you, Steve. I can't believe it!" Tony blurts out. "Do you really think I'm betraying you with Stephen all the time? You fuck me almost every night, and yet you think I'm heading into his arms when you have no time? How little do you think of me?"

 

Steve touches his cheek. The spot Tony just hit feels warm. Damn, that escalated quickly. To his surprise Tony looks more shocked than Steve.

 

"Sorry... I..." Tony pauses. "Let's..." He pauses again, shaking his head.

 

"Tony," Steve says carefully, his voice softer now. His mind feels a lot clearer too.

 

Tony rubs over his forehead, then he shakes his head again. He leaves before Steve can stop him. While he is still pondering what to do next and if to follow Tony immediately, or wait a bit not to piss him off further, his phone rings. "Yes," Steve answers with a sigh.

 

"Wow," Bucky's voice comes from the other end. "You sound excited, man. I mean, are you at a funeral or what?"

 

"Bucky?" Steve blinks.

 

"Yeah." Bucky chuckles. "Who else? Literally no one else but me and your hot boyfriend have your number! Or did you expand your contacts to the spiderkid too?"

 

"Hm."

 

"Hello? Steve? Am I still talking to you or your robotic alter ego?"

 

"Sorry," Steve sighs. "Had a fight with Tony."

 

"What? Why?" He can hear the confusion in Bucky's voice.

 

"Well, people argue sometimes," Steve points out.

 

"You are supposed to fuck him, not argue with him," Bucky says bluntly. Kind of wise words, somehow, in Bucky's own way. "So you wanna talk about it?"

 

"I just saw him with another guy, one of his friends. They share so much with each other."

 

"So, you saw them making out?" Bucky asks. "And that's why you are mad?"

 

"What?" Steve feels almost insulted by that thought. "No!"

 

"Okay, so they didn’t make out? And you are mad...because...they didn't?" Bucky sounds slightly confused. "I mean, didn't know you are into that. Whatever floats your boat, really."

 

Steve frowns. "No, that's not it!"

 

"I don't get it," Bucky states flatly. "What are you mad about then?"

 

Steve pauses, blinking.

 

"Steve?"

 

"Thanks Bucky," Steve finally says, sighing slightly. God, he is so stupid. "Talking to you helped a lot."

 

"Not sure how I helped. But any time!"

 

The first thing Steve does when he hangs up is call Tony. He doesn't answer, which doesn't surprise Steve, hence he decides to go looking for him. But it's a far more difficult task than anticipated. The tower is huge.

 

Midway through his search he stumbles over Rhodey. "Did you see Tony?"

 

Rhodey blinks. "No, I thought he was with you."

 

Finding Tony is his top priority, he can't waste any time by hiding stuff. "We kind of..." Steve pauses. "...argued. It's-"

 

"AH!" Rhodey covers his ears. "Don't wanna hear it! Don't involve me!"

 

Not quite the direction Steven thought their talk would be going to. "Do you know where I can find him?"

 

Rhodey sighs. "He probably went off to somewhere. That's his tower, he knows some places. It's impossible to find him when he doesn't want to be found."

 

Steve nods tentatively. He continues searching for Tony for a while before he retreats to their room. It's kind of painful to realize that Tony went into hiding because of him. "F.R.I.D.A.Y?" he pauses. "Tell Tony I was and am an idiot. And that I don't think he is in any way betraying me. Tell him I'm insecure about myself, not about him. And that I'm waiting for him as long as it takes for him to be ready to talk to me."

 

"I will instantly deliver your message, Steve," F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice echoes through the room. Steve smiles slightly. He likes it that Tony programmed her to call him Steve, not Captain or anything else.

 

He drops down on his sofa, aimlessly scribbling and drawing into his sketch book before he starts wondering when and how and where he exactly went wrong and what he could have done to prevent it.

 

He just wants this…him and Tony together... to work. He wants their relationship to work. So badly. But he doesn't really know...how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first of all, I promise you that from the next chapter on Steve will be a lot less passive. I think he is just really afraid to do anything wrong and upset Tony, which is why he kept everything to himself until he couldn't hold back anymore. 
> 
> Who else can imagine Stephen going like: What kind of school drama am I in right now? -.-
> 
> It took me forever to finish this chapter. I don't know why... I actually had it almost finished since a while already, but I kept going back to it and rewrite passages. Their whole fight was a lot worse in the original version of this chapter btw, but then I didn't want it to be too dramatic, and I didn't want Steve to come off as a huge jerk. 
> 
> So yeah, I hope you like this chapter despite all the drama!! 
> 
> As always your comments are loved ♥


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Steve make up.

 

 

"Here." Steve jumps slightly when he feels something cool being pressed against his neck. It's a bottle with beer.

 

Steve is up his feet immediately, ignoring the blinding pain that goes right from his temples to the back of his head. Stupid headache. "Tony!? I... I searched everywhere for you!"

 

"I know," Tony says quietly.

 

Steve takes his hand, scared that Tony might leave again. Tony doesn't pull his hand free, instead he wraps his fingers around Steve's hands, holding it tightly.

 

"I'm sorry," Tony says, so much to Steve's surprise that he can only stare at him.

 

"What for!?"

 

"It wasn't right to hit you."

 

Steve laughs. He can't help it, although Tony looks at him slightly scandalized and annoyed.

 

"This is not funny," Tony emphazises.

 

Steve chuckles, before he tugs at Tony's hand and pulls him closer. "I would have hit myself too if I could. So you just saved me the work to figure out how."

 

"It's just..." Tony looks at Steve nervously. "I am completely against violence within family."

 

Steve tilts his head, feeling curious, and – very carefully – hopeful. "So, I'm family to you?"

 

"Yes, Steve," Tony says earnestly, eyebrows furrowed. "I'm not letting you fuck me just like that, without any more meaning to it."

 

Steve blushes and looks down, he can't bring himself to look at Tony. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "So sorry. It was a pretty low blow from my side."

 

“Yes, it was,” Tony sighs slightly. "Though on the long run I don't know who of us was the bigger idiot."

 

"Obviously I," Steve blinks. "Why are you even questioning it?"

 

"Many reasons. And it’s still not okay that I hit you," Tony repeats.

 

Steve shakes his head. "Tony, it's not like you beat me up. I hurt you, and you didn't know how to react. Jesus, I punched Bucky once, and he is my best friend."

 

Tony looks to the ground, it seems like he isn't even listening to Steve. "It's just. I would never..." Something in his eyes flashes, he suddenly looks so vulnerable. It makes Steve jump to his feet immediately. "... raise my hand against a child, right? Steve, if I ever come close to that, let's say to hit Peter, you have to stop me. I would never..."

 

Steve grabs Tony by his wrist. "No," he says with insistence. "Stop it, Tony."

 

"I would never." Tony's voice shivers slightly, and Steve doesn't know what else to do than to pull him in a hug.

 

"I know, Anthony."

 

"But I hit you!"

 

"Okay, that's it," Steve says with more force now. "I'm not a child. I literally implied you are a whore and making out with others. Doesn't matter if I meant it or not, I still said it. And I would have slapped myself if I could. And if Rhodey knew, he would have done a lot worse things to me. I was just being a complete petty, jealous piece of shit."

 

"Language, Steve," Tony mumbles and in every other situation it would have been funny, but Steve realizes how Tony sinks into his arms further, almost like he is holding on to him, and Steve can only hug him tight.

 

Steve takes a careful breath, deciding to follow the thought he had when he encountered Tony’s unusual reaction just now, and the way he apologized.. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks softly, scared he might invade Tony’s privacy too much. “About...” he pauses. When Tony doesn’t react to his words, he continues. “This is not about you or me or Peter, am I right? Did someone once treat you badly? Hurt you?”

 

“I...” Tony’s voice sounds hoarse. “I...Steve, I’m not sure... if I can… I mean, how to tell...” He groans in frustration. “Shit, this is so stupid.”

 

“You don’t need to tell me anything now,” Steve reassures him softly. “It’s okay. You can talk to me whenever you are ready. I will listen then. You don’t need to be scared.” Apparently he did something right, because Tony seems to relax a bit. “You are wonderful, Tony," Steve mumbles into his hair. "You are a wonderful person. You are everything to me."

 

"My..." Tony says all of a sudden, his voice sounds less strained now. He smiles against Steve's neck. "You really have it bad. Blinded by love it seems."

 

"I obviously am," Steve answers dryly.

 

Tony stays quiet for a while. When he draws back slightly, Steve notes that his eyes are redder than usual. He has to fight every muscle in his body not to hug him again. "I have it bad too," Tony tells him with a soft chuckle.

 

"Okay, come here," Steve wraps his arms around Tony and hugs him again, making Tony laugh slightly.

 

"You big teddy bear." Tony teases. "You are such a huge softie, Steve."

 

"Do you have any problems with that?" Steve teases.

 

"No, I like dating a kind guy for once," Tony answers dryly. "It's so refreshing for a change." He pauses. "Hey Steve," he finally says. "Take me to bed? Only if you feel like it of course."

 

"I always feel like it when it's you," Steve says. Normally Tony would say things like fuck me or tease Steve into jumping him. But this time he doesn't, and Steve decides to do things differently this time too. He is going to make love to Tony, as gentle as he can, to show him how much he loves him.

 

 

~~~

 

Steve puts on his bathrobe. Tony bought it for him, it's a tidbit more fancy than what he normally wears, it's wine-red, and it's fluffy and comfortable.

 

"I'm going to the bathroom for a moment," Steve bends down a bit, touching Tony's shoulder softly. "Should I get you something from the kitchen?"

 

"No thanks," Tony mumbles sleepily.

 

"Something to drink maybe."

 

"No, I'm fine." Tony's voice sounds a bit hoarse. Not the usual after-sex or sleep-deprived hoarse.

 

"Are you not feeling well?" Steve kneels down next to Tony, nuzzling his nose against his neck. "Do you want something to eat maybe? I can get some crackers." He brushes Tony's bangs aside. "Or I could cook something fast for you."

 

Tony rolls his eyes, so much it looks like they are about to get stuck behind his eyelids. "You don't need to make up to me, Captain Fluffball." He smiles. "Just go and come back fast. It's cold when you aren't here."

 

So sweet. Steve kisses him softly before heading to the bathroom. On his way back he decides to get something to drink and eat, despite Tony denying his offer.

 

When Steve comes back, Tony isn't lying in their bed anymore. Instead he is standing, or rather leaning against the wall. "Tony?" Steve asks, alarmed. He puts the small trey on the sofa table and hurries to Tony's side. "Tony!" he repeats, grabbing Tony's arm before he can drop to the ground.

 

Tony tugs his arm free, almost panicked. "Hurts," he blurts out, while dropping to his knees.

 

Steve lets go, like he is touching something hot. What the heck is he supposed to do!? WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN HAPPENING!? "Tony, what do you need? Tell me what you need?"

 

Tony's chest moves up and down fast, unsteady, hectic, like he is short on breath, and shit... it seems like he can't breath properly.

 

Damn it! "Tony," Steve forces his face into Tony's view. "I will get help! I WILL be back, okay! In not even a minute!"

 

 

~~~

 

He forcefully hits against Stephen's door. "STRANGE!" he yells.

 

When the door opens, both Stephen and his weird cloak are looking at him, ready to strike. Apparently they thought he would be attacking him. Steve has no time for any games and explanations. "It's Tony! He can't breath properly, or talk. He is... I don't know... I need your help!" he calls out, while already running back to their floor.

 

Stephen arrives even before him. He has opened a portal, and when Steve arrives in their room, Stephen has already made Tony lie on his back. "A pillow for his head," he says to Steve. Something about Stephen's calm approach does make Steve calmer too. He grabs the next-best pillow he can find and kneels down next to Tony. "Okay, now just put it under his head."

 

"And then?" Steve asks nervously.

 

"Calm down," Stephen orders.

 

Steve blinks. "Sorry?"

 

"You need to be all calm and act reassured." Stephen explains shortly. "Then talk to him while I get some things from my room."

 

"But," Steve looks at him in surprise. "He is having difficulties breathing and talking and-"

 

"It's a panic attack, Steve," Stephen explains.

 

Steve doesn't even realize he called him by his first name. It's unusual, but he doesn't really mind right now. "Can I touch him?" he stutters. "Hold his hand? I was holding his arm before to prevent him from dropping to the floor, but he said it hurts."

 

"That's probably because his skin was feeling too hot. It's not logical. You can try taking his hand, if it’s too much for him, he will react anyways." Stephen looks at him. "Talk to him. Just anything. Tell him a story. It should be something calming. Your voice is important, which is why you need to be calm, okay? Can you do that?"

 

Steve nods. "Of course." He takes Tony's hand into his. His skin feels cold and sweaty. "Hey Tony," he says softly. "You know what I have been thinking recently? We are approaching Christmas... do you want to celebrate together? I would love to. I mean, when I was a teen, I..."

 

 

~~~

 

"You did a good job," Stephen tells him when Tony is sleeping again. Completely calm and safe again.

 

"Hm," Steve makes. It doesn't really feel like he did anything. "You are the one who did everything."

 

Stephen shrugs. "I just did the doctor-stuff. Nothing special about that."

 

"And now?" Steve asks, gaze wandering towards Tony who is snuggling against their blanket, and looks so peaceful now.

 

"Nothing," Stephen says bluntly. "He is okay. And you can do whatever you want. If you have work to do-"

 

"No way." Steve shakes his head. "I'm not leaving him alone."

 

"Well, then just be there when he wakes up." Stephen raises his eyebrows. "He will be his old self again then. You know way better how to handle him than I do," he continues.

 

Steve is not so sure about that. Stephen really seems to have the hang of how to act around Tony. He knows more than Steve does, and he has better senses. Something inside Steve's stomach clenches again. This time he doesn't feel jealous of Stephen though, it's more like... god, he is so pissed at himself. Biggest failure as a boyfriend. Also he hasn't apologized to Stephen yet for dragging Tony away from him earlier that day. "Hey Stephen," he starts.

 

But Stephen just pats his shoulder. "We are all tired. Let's just postpone this to later or... possibly never."

 

Steve snorts. This is something Tony would say too, he figures. "Later then," he says. "Thank you for your help."

 

~~~

 

Tony stirs under the blanket, and Steve puts the book he was reading aside. It's around lunchtime now, and he spent most of his time until now here, reading a book and watching a bit TV. It feels weird. Like a lazy Sunday. He didn't have one of those in forever. Just the circumstances which led to this aren't the best ones.

 

Tony sits up, confused. "Steve? What's the time?"

 

"Around 1 PM," Steve approaches Tony and sits down at the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

 

"I feel like I have been eaten by an alien, and then spit out again." Tony groans. "Please tell me I look better than I feel."

 

Steve chuckles. "You always look gorgeous."

 

"You are such a crappy liar," Tony smiles.

 

Stephen was right. Nothing about Tony indicates that he had such a breakdown a few hours ago. It makes Steve feel sick all of a sudden. How often did it happen before that Tony had a panic attack or whatever, and didn't tell anyone? How often did he go through this alone and woke up hours later lying on the floor with no one around? Did he just get up then and walk to a meeting with them and pretended everything was as usual? Did he meet Steve afterwards, went on a date with him and just acted as if he was alright? Now that Steve knows he can recall a few moments in which something about Tony seemed off… shit, he should have noticed sooner, really.

 

Tony looks away from Steve. "Shit, this is awkward." He pauses. "Sorry you had to see that Steve."

 

"I'm actually really relieved I was there," Steve says immediately. "Don't apologize! I'm terrified to imagine you could have been alone..."

 

Tony takes his hand, squeezing it slightly. "Man it up, Captain," he jokes.

 

Steve bends forward, pressing a kiss against Tony's forehead.

 

"Steve?" Tony looks at him, fingers tugging at his blanket. He seems nervous all of a sudden. "Are you alright?"

 

His question comes as a surprise. No way would have Steve expected it. "I, of course. Why wouldn't I?"

 

"Really?" Tony inquires further. "I mean, you were... before... when we argued. You said-"

 

"I didn't mean what I said," Steve interrupts him immediately.

 

"No, no, I don't mean that." Tony looks at him insistently. "I mean, you said I was hiding stuff from you. And then you admitted you were hiding things too. How do you really feel, Steve? Do you want to talk about it?"

 

Steve looks at Tony in surprise. Yes, he does want to talk about it. He can't believe that Tony actually had the guts to ask him directly. He can't believe he caught up on what he said during their argument. But seeing Tony now, the look in his eyes tired from the last night, he just can't bring himself to answer honestly. This is not the right place. "I'm fine, Tony." He squeezes Tony's hand. "I... we can talk about it later, okay?"

 

Tony nods half-heartedly. And it's only when Steve gets some stuff from the kitchen, that he realizes later is not going to happen... because it never happens.

 

~~~

 

"Here," Stephen throws a bag with pills at him. It almost hits Steve against his forehead, but he has good reflexes and catches it fast.

 

Steve blinks at the small package. "What is that for? For Tony?"

 

"No for you," Stephen says dryly. "You have been scrunching your nose and furrowing your forehead for days now. It's a pain to watch." He rolls his eyes. "Migraine? Headache?"

 

"Yeah, something like that. I don't know where it comes from." Steve nods, surprised that Stephen caught on. He looks at said-man thoughtfully. Stephen looks a bit... pissed. Steve would have understood if he was mad right after he helped Steve with Tony. Or when he dragged Tony away from him. But he doesn't get why he is mad... now.

 

"Oh I know," Stephen huffs. "You are tensed. It comes from your neck and shoulders. Been thinking too much the last weeks?"

 

Steve looks up, frowning slightly. "What are you talking about?"

 

"You know," Stephen furrows his eyebrows further. "Something weird happened today. I checked on Tony, and he told me he asked you if you were alright, and you said... yes. Is that true?"

 

Steve starts to feel dizzy. He absolute hates when people talk to him and imply things, but don't say anything of substance. "Are you actually coming down to the point soon?"

 

"Just answer me. Did Tony ask you that?"

 

"Yeah, he did."

 

"Then why the hell weren't you honest!?" Stephen spats out. "You don't understand him, you don't get what's happening or rather why, but you don't ask questions either. You think about all of this so much, you are getting a migraine for days. And then HE asks you, he opens a door for you, and you just lie to him? You are his partner, Rogers. Act like it or let it be completely! That's all so fucking stupid, I have no words!"

 

For a split second Steve wonders if he should feel angry now, but seriously, deep inside he is just so glad someone finally spills it out to him. He sits down in one of the sofa chairs, burying his head in his hands. "I don't want him to feel upset or guilty."

 

"Bullshit," Stephen says, but he sounds less angry now. "You are building a wall between you two and that's better? How do you really feel? Just say it. It's just me and you. You don't like me, you can be honest with me. Just say the first thing that comes in your mind."

 

“Fine,” Steve looks up, feeling annoyed all of a sudden. "I hated seeing another man taking care of my partner," he blurts out. "I mean, it should have been me. I should have been able to care for him and know what to do. I didn't even know he is having panic attacks. I still don't. He didn't tell me. He should have told me."

 

"Great, then tell him what you just told me," Stephen nods. "Just phrase it better, and he will know you want to be involved. He asked you how you feel and if you want to talk about the things standing between you. Your call!"

 

Steve leans back. "You are right," he says quietly. He looks at Stephen for a while. "Since we are already on it..."

 

"Please don't say anything embarrassing," Stephen groans.

 

"Fine, then I won't." Steve leans back. "But I'm scared it was my fault that he had a panic attack. We argued right before it. And it triggered a memory from his past, I think."

 

"What kind of trauma?" Stephen asks, surprised.

 

Deep inside Steve is a bit relieved that Stephen doesn't know just everything about Tony. That there is a part which Tony didn't let him see either. "I'm not so sure."

 

"And how did you react?" Stephen asks quietly.

 

"I held him in my arms, and told him how much of a wonderful person he is. I asked him if something happened to him once, but I didn't want to force him into talking, so I told him he doesn’t need to push himself into talking. Once he is ready, he can tell me. I thought, if I'm just there for him, it might be better. Was I wrong?"

 

"No," Stephen smiles slightly. "That was good. See?"

 

Steve laughs slightly all of a sudden. "There is always hope it seems." He gets up and stretches slightly. "Thank you, Stephen. Can't believe out of all it's you I had to get advice from."

 

Stephen's lips tug into a smirk. "Yeah, it's kinda funny, I have to admit."

 

Steve reaches out his hand. "Thank you." He notes with amusement how Stephen rolls his eyes a bit first, but then takes his hand nevertheless, and shakes it.

 

"Anytime. Just watch out for my friend, will you?"

 

"I promise."

 

~~~

 

Tony shakes his head. "I can’t believe I am the one say this now, but: What were you thinking, Steve, dragging me to this place while we have so much work to do?"

 

"It's warm. Isn't it beautiful?"

 

"Unbelievable that you made me say yes to this trip," Tony chuckles. “In the middle of nowhere.”

 

Steve smiles. "What, a weekend right at the beach is the best idea I ever had!"

 

Tony takes the iced tea Steve is offering him and looks at him thoughtfully. "You are not doing this because you want to trick me into relaxing and whatever you want to call it? Or is it because you have always wanted to fuck me in the water? We both know things always get way too wild between us to do it in the bathtub."

 

"No," Steve answers honestly. "I'm doing this mostly for myself." He pauses. "And fucking you in the ocean sounds good too."

 

Tony stares at him for a moment. "For yourself? So I was right and there is something wrong?"

 

Steve nods.

 

"And you didn't think about telling me? I mean, I asked you and you-"

 

"Lied," Steve interrupts him. "I am sorry, Tony. I didn't want to unsettle you or burden you with my own issues. And then I realized it was making things worse and worse, and I was so much in my own head I didn't even see a way out of it again."

 

Tony raises his eyebrows. "Rogers, stupid decisions are more my forte you know that, don't you?"

 

"Hm," Steve hums. "I am not so sure." Steve takes off his clothes, happy to have found a place so secluded that he and Tony could do whatever they want. He is relieved to see that Tony follows his actions immediately. He takes Tony by his hand, leading him towards the warm water. It's a sand beach, still warm from the sun of the day. The sun is setting, giving them at least some cover. Not that Steve would have minded seeing Tony completely exposed in the brightest daylight, but he knows that weirdly enough Tony tends to lose his confidence when he is too exposed.

 

It's cheesy and cliche, he knows it, but when they are far enough in the water Steve turns and smiles slightly. "Want to be stupid together?"

 

Tony chuckles, wrapping his arms around Steve's neck and his legs around his waist, supported by the water he feels so light. "Always wanted to reenact such a scene," he grins. "So make it count."

 

"Oh," Steve smirks. "I will."

 

~~~

 

Tony moves his arms slightly. After their first round they moved from the ocean to their bungalow. "Jeez, Steve, next time remind me of my age."

 

"You would kill me if I ever did that," Steve snorts.

 

"I wouldn't."

 

Steve raises his eyebrows. "Tony, let's not have more sex than that. Think of your age. It would be too much for you. Like that?"

 

Tony stares at him. "Fine, you won. I would kill you if you ever said that. Call me old or fat and you can fuck yourself."

 

"I would never call you fat," Steve says, surprised. "You have the perfect body. And the even more perfect butt."

 

Tony rolls his eyes. "You need to stop putting me on a pedestal!"

 

"I love you," Steve says earnestly. "And this is how I treat the person I love."

 

"I was not talking about just today," Tony points out.

 

"I know..." Steve admits.

 

Tony pushes himself up on his elbows, looking at him. "Steve, there is never going to be a better moment than now to say something."

 

"I wish you would involve me more," Steve finally says without further ado.

 

Tony looks at him for a while. "You mean..." he starts carefully.

 

"When you had a panic attack and you didn’t tell me before and I had to get Stephen for help, I felt awful." Steve sits up now. "I don't mean to patronize you or to sound reproachful. I just want to be involved."

 

"I didn't know how to tell you," Tony mumbles. "I never told anyone."

 

"Is it because you don't trust me?" Steve wants to know, worried.

 

Tony shakes his head. "It's just so much to tell. About my father. Afghanistan, the wormhole, New York and all kind of things."

 

Siberia too, Steve thinks.

 

"It's too much to burden someone else with."

 

Steve takes Tony's hand. "Tony, you are not burdening me by telling me how you feel. And I don't mean to force you into telling me everything and sharing every detail. And I understand that some things are easier to share with a friend than with your partner. I only want you to talk when you are ready." He rubs his thumb over Tony's hand. "But don't push me away please."

 

"I'm so sorry, Steve," Tony says. "I didn't mean to. I mean... it's..."

 

"I know."

 

"I just didn't know how to explain."

 

"Yes."

 

Tony looks at him. "I was diagnosed with PTSD. Fury knew. Other than him only Stephen knows, because he realized by himself. He was a neurologist after all. I see a therapist regularly. And I don't have these panic attacks very often. But when I have them, it's pretty bad."

 

“Did you have any of them after we got together?”

 

Tony blushes. “Only once,” he admits. “Aside from the last time.”

 

Steve sighs, that’s what he feared. Tony probably had a few of them during the last years, and just hid them well in front of the others. “Thank you,” Steve mumbles. “For being honest. It really means a lot to me.” He looks at Tony. "Would you tell me how to help you in these moments?" he asks softly.

 

Tony looks at him in surprise. "Really?"

 

"Of course." Steve feels stunned by Tony's open surprise. Isn't it normal to want to help his partner?

 

"It's just... no one I dated up to now made a real effort," Tony stutters.

 

"Try me," Steve urges softly.

 

Tony nods. "But if it gets too much for you, tell me. Or you can always get help from Stephen."

 

"My archenemy in love?" Steve jokes lightly. His stupid joke helps because Tony just rolls his eyes and smacks his shoulder.

 

"We talked about this," Tony scolds.

 

Steve smiles. "We did. But I need to keep an eye on him."

 

Tony rolls his eyes again, but laughs this time. Steve grins and pulls him into his arms, dropping down together with him. "So, tell me. Please."

 

Tony nods.

 

 

~~~

 

Now that he has settled everything with Tony or at least found a way to settle things, he needs to think about how to approach his next problems. Mainly the spiderkid and Rhodey. And in Tony's case Bucky. He has been pondering about this problem for months, actually since the moment he and Tony got together.

 

Bucky is his closest friend, and he just wishes that he and Tony would at least talk to each other. He also knows that Bucky wouldn't mind talking with Tony, simply because Bucky is probably the most uncomplicated being in the world. But he is not sure if Tony is already over everything which happened, and if he is ready for it.

 

On the other hand he has Rhodey and Peter, who watch every of his steps. Last week he got in a tiny argument with Tony. It was nothing major, and he and Tony made up an hour later. Still Peter was sending invisible vicious daggers at him and Rhodey ignored him for the whole day.

 

He needs to do something about it. Weirdly enough though Peter beats him to it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update. I was really busy with my postgraduate studies (did them while working full-time), but now I'm finished and happy and yayyyyyy :D Ready... or not ready... for Endgame ^^
> 
> Also Steve is a fluffball, isn't he? Next chapter we will have some Bucky - Tony interaction :D And Peter will strike again ;-)
> 
> As always comments and feedback are loved ♥


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a little surprise confrontation with Peter, and Tony and Bucky meet through it. It's completely unplanned, unorganized and doesn't go according to any plan Steve might have had. But when does it ever?

It's close to midnight when Steve and Bucky walk through one of the corridors. Bucky has visited him for a drink and a chat, but unfortunately Steve wasn't able to come up with an idea how to make him meet Tony. Tony knew Bucky was coming, he didn’t say anything against it, on the contrary he was very supportive, but he disappeared in his workshop the moment Bucky arrived. Of course Steve could have tricked them into accidentally meeting each other, but he didn't want to do that. It’s not quite his style, and it would feel wrong.

 

Bucky would be pissed if he did, because he wouldn’t find it right either. He is not as righteous as Steve, but still… he likes to consider others’ feelings.

 

And Tony would be pissed if he did. Out of obvious reasons.

 

And they would have been right to be angry with him, both of them.

 

Still it's such a pity that they are all at the same place but can't seem to meet each other. He gets pulled out of his thoughts when he sees a shadow passing by one of the windows. He blinks. "Did I imagine that?" he mutters towards Bucky.

 

Bucky shakes his head. "No. There is something out there."

 

Steve frowns, his mind switching into battle mode immediately. He carefully follows the direction the shadow was heading to, wondering if it was someone attacking them. He bumps right into Rhodey around the corner.

 

"Did you two see that too?" Rhodey asks in a low voice, not even commenting on Bucky's presence.

 

Steve nods, signalling Rhodey to stay quiet. They approach one of the bigger windows, silently positioning themselves at both sides. "Don't shoot before we know who or what it is," Rhodey whispers towards the both of them.

 

Bucky nods.

 

"When I give the signal, we open the window and just grab him," Steve mumbles. His eyes shift to the darkness outside of the window. It's never completely dark though thanks to the lights of the city, which is why his sharp eyes catch the shadow immediately once it comes closer.

 

"NOW!" Steve yells.

 

It happens fast. Rhodey rips the window open, Bucky almost jumps out of it, grabbing the intruder and Steve is ready to kick some ass when he sees a well-known red mask and- "Don't hit him!" Steve blurts out.

 

His warning doesn't come soon enough because Rhodey has already delivered a punch and Bucky has kicked into the direction of the culprit. Then there is something sticky around them. Before Bucky or Rhodey can react, Steve grabs them by their arms. "Stop attacking him!" he yells. "For Christ's sake, stop!"

 

He shifts his gaze a bit, looking directly into two well-known eyes. They are wide-opened now, surprised by the sudden attack and obviously shocked at being caught. He turns over and swiftly disappears.

 

"Hey," Rhodey calls out. "What..." He tugs at the sticky strings surrounding them. "What the heck is that?"

 

"Spiderwebs?" Bucky asks in surprise.

 

Rhodey blinks, shifting his head to look at Steve. "For real?"

 

"Yeah, I realized it's him the moment we attacked him," Steve sighs, tugging slightly at their restraints.

 

"Why did he leave though?" Rhodey asks in disbelief.

 

Because he is a teen who just got caught and panicked, Steve thinks. "Let's rather try to free ourselves for now," he suggests.

 

"Good idea," Bucky agrees.

 

Before they can think of anything though, the door opens and Tony hurries inside the room, Bruce right behind him. They apparently worked together in Tony’s workshop until they heard the fighting noises. "What..." Tony's gaze shifts from Steve to the open window back to Steve and to Bucky and Rhodey.

 

"Why are you caught in spiderwebs?" Bruce asks in disbelief.

 

"I can't believe it," Tony huffs. "I swear I'm going to kick his butt for real this time!"

 

"Okay," Bucky interrupts them. "For the slow ones: What happened right now?"

 

"We got outsmarted by a kid," Rhodey comments dryly.

 

"Awesome," Bucky sighs. "Being stuck in a spiderweb. Another point on my list."

 

"Just give me a few minutes," Tony comments, his voice weirdly strained. "I will get you out of this."

 

Steve sighs, not sure where to look at. He didn't plan on Tony and Bucky meeting like this, unprepared and so spontaneously. At the same time it wasn't planned and there was no intent behind it. He still feels sorry though.

 

"Didn't quite go according to plan, huh?" Rhodey asks quietly once Tony left.

 

"When did it ever?" Steve sighs. "I tend to make matters worse sometimes."

 

"I don't think so," Rhodey answers. "This wasn't planned."

 

"I did want them to meet though," Steve admits.

 

"But you didn't trick Tony?" Rhodey wants to know.

 

"I would never," Steve says with emphasis. "I love him, you know?"

 

"I do know," Rhodey mumbles.

 

"Yeah," Bucky interrupts them. "Everyone knows. Especially since you got jealous of that Doctor."

 

"Of Strange?" Rhodey asks with a grin. "You were jealous? YOU!?"

 

"I wouldn't call it jealous," Steve tries to defend his honour.

 

"You wouldn't believe it," Bucky grins. "He even called me in the middle of the night, and I had to tell him how much of an idiot he is being. I gave him the best advice ever."

 

"Which was?"

 

"Fuck his pretty boyfriend instead of arguing with him," Bucky grins.

 

Rhodey grimaces. "Please, no details."

 

"Yeah," Steve agrees. "Shut up Barnes."

 

"What's your problem, Rogers?" Bucky grins. "Can't handle any competition in love, can you?"

 

"Of course not," Steve says with emphasis. "I love Tony, and I'm eager to make this work. I'm not going to allow anyone to steal him from me."

 

Rhodey lets out a dramatic sigh. "Can you be anymore cheesy?"

 

"But it's true," Steve comments calmly. "I would do anything for him. I know we have a difficult history, and I didn't always treat him right, but I will never let that happen again!"

 

Rhodey throws him a glance, but doesn't say anything anymore, just nods quietly. Meanwhile Bucky tugs at the webs. "This sucks," he grumbles.

 

"Would you stop it please," Tony huffs out of nowhere. Apparently he just came back. "You are just making it worse." He kneels down in front of them. "I'm going to cut you out of the webs now, so please, don't move around."

 

"You know," Rhodey says when Tony starts working on getting them free. "Barnes said he needs some clothes fitting the 21st century."

 

"Is that so?" Tony says blandly.

 

"And obviously Steve is no help."

 

Steve tilts his head a bit. "I wouldn't say that I'm completely helpless though."

 

Rhodey ignores him. "Why don't you take him shopping, Tones?"

 

Tony looks up at Rhodey with a look of disbelief in his eyes. His gaze is something between annoyed, surprised and warning. "Why don't you, James!?"

 

"Hm?" Bucky blinks. "What am I supposed to do?" He pauses, looking at Tony expectantly, before his gaze shifts to Rhodey. "Oh, your names is James too? Cool!"

 

"What do you think, Tony?" Rhodey wants to know.

 

"I think for one evening I have enough issues to deal with," Tony states bitterly while tugging some of the webs away.

 

"You don't have to do anything alike," Steve reassures him. He doesn't want Tony to feel like he has to do something like this. It's not the way things should go. "You do have a great sense of styling, Rhodey is right, but don't worry, Tony."

 

Tony rips the rest of the webs away, finally freeing them. Then he looks at Steve. "I'm not a miracle worker Steve."

 

"Yeah, you heard the man," Bucky frowns at Steve. "He is not a miracle worker! And I don't need clothes, not interested in shopping. Listen to your pretty boyfriend!"

 

Tony blinks, apparently surprised. "You do need something better to wear! I mean, on a second look, you are not _completely_ hopeless."

 

Bucky raises his eyebrows. "Really?”

 

“Yeah, could do with a new hairstyle, but… prominent cheekbones, good body.”

 

Bucky smiles proudly. “And on a second look you are kinda cute."

 

Steve frowns. "What!?”

 

“Of course he is cute,” Bucky grins. “I mean, he is small and has fluffy hair and-”

 

“Don't call him cute!" Steve groans.

 

"Why?" Bucky grins. "Will you be jealous otherwise?” He nudges Steve with his elbow. “If we wouldn’t have tried to kill each other I would have totally hit on him. I mean, he looks hot, is smart and probably good in bed too and-"

 

“James,” Steve says sharply.

 

“Yeah?” Bucky grins.

 

“Shut up.”

 

Tony's lips tug slightly, before he turns away to hide his grin. Rhodey meanwhile sighs. "I'm too old for this shit."

 

 

~~~

 

 

Tony opens the door to Peter's room. "Are you stupid!?" he blurts out.

 

Peter has changed his clothes, dressed in normal jeans and a shirt, and he has apparently expected them. "I'm so sorry," he stutters.

 

"Yeah, you better are!" Tony furrows his eyebrows. Interesting, Steve doesn't know him angry. It dawns on him that he has seen a lot of emotions from Tony, but not this here.

 

"It was a misunderstanding," Peter apparently tries to go for an excuse. He blushes. "I had something..."

 

"Something important to do?" Tony asks sharply. "What?"

 

Peter has the decency to look embarrassed. He is a bad liar, Steve notes. He wonders if he should do or say something, but then realizes this is Tony's and Peter's problem to solve and fight to carry out.

 

"I'm sorry," Peter says quietly.

 

"You could have get killed," Tony scolds. He sounds worried and angry at the same time. "Damn it, Peter, you got into a fight with two super-soldiers and a third additional soldier! They thought you were an actual intruder, an enemy! Do you even realize how dangerous this was!?"

 

Peter grows pale. (and so does Steve, because damn it, Tony is right, the what ifs are major) "No," Peter admits quietly.

 

"Right. No you didn't."

 

 

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

Tony is pacing around his workshop aimlessly when Steve goes looking for him a while later. He doesn’t even seem to notice his presence first.

 

"Tony," Steve begins carefully. "You are angry."

 

Tony looks at him, raising his eyebrows. "You don't say."

 

"The thing is..." Steve tilts his head thoughtfully. "Are you mad at Peter. Or at me. Or at Bucky?"

 

"It's not logical to be mad at you," Tony states.

 

"Logical or not, let's leave that aside." Steve looks at him insistently. "Are you mad at the three of us?"

 

"A bit at all of you," Tony admits. "But I told you it's not logical! So forget it! I'm just in a mood."

 

"I didn't want you to meet Bucky like this," Steve explains quietly.

 

"I know." Tony turns to say something, but closes his mouth again. "I know."

 

"Tony," Steve says with insistence.

 

"I _know_ ," Tony huffs out.

 

"So, what else is on your mind?" Steve pushes. "That's not everything, is there?"

 

"I just." Tony rearranges some objects before he looks at Steve. "Why did you hide it from me back then?"

 

Steve blinks. "Huh?"

 

"Why didn't you tell me that my parents were killed, and how?" Tony wants to know.

 

Steve looks at him, feeling at a loss. "Tony, we talked about this already. A lot," he points out quietly.

 

"I know," Tony hurries to agree. "But I still..." He pauses. "I don't know."

 

Steve feels frustrated, and the fact that he does feel frustrated, frustrates him even further. He is trying so hard to make things better between them, and somehow it works, but then at the same time they seem to back-paddle again. And he just doesn’t know what else he can do. “Don’t you think you are being a bit unfair at the moment?” Steve asks, irritated.

 

“Unfair?” Tony frowns in obvious annoyance. “I told you it’s stupid, but you wanted to hear!”

 

“It’s not _stupid_ , it’s just...I don’t know what to do!” Steve says exasperated. “What else do you want me to do Tony? I just don’t know. I apologized so many times, and I meant it everytime. But no matter how hard I try I can’t undo what happened! Tell me what I’m supposed to do in your opinion?”

 

“Nothing,” Tony mumbles.

 

“Fine,” Steve sighs tiredly. “I think it’s better if I’ll leave you alone now. Maybe later we are actually in the right mind to talk to each other for real.” He figures he could have stayed and discuss this further with Tony, but he knows they will just get into an awful argument and both would feel bad about it afterwards. He hopes taking a step back from it might give them the chance to cool off before they talk to each other.

 

 

Meanwhile Steve decides to check on Peter for a moment, feeling guilty for attacking him, and he looked so sad when Tony yelled at him. At the door he bumps into Stephen. “You?” Steve blinks.

 

“Tony asked me to check on Peter,” Stephen explains before he knocks at the door.

 

Peter opens it swiftly, he looks miserable enough.

 

“What happened?” Stephen wants to know. “Tony said you got in a fight and maybe got hurt in the process?”

 

Peter blushes. “Kind of,” he stutters.

 

Stephen frowns, looking from Steve to Peter. “You _kind of_ got into a fight? How does kind of fighting look?” He looks back to Steve. “And what the heck do you have in your hair?” he asks, bewildered.

 

“Oh that...” Steve tries to brush the remaining spiderwebs from his hair.

 

“Is that...” Stephen pauses, rolling his eyes. “Is there anything actually drama-free in this house?”

 

“We didn’t attack each other though,” Peter hurries to explain. “I was outside, sneaking back, and the others thought someone was attacking the Avengers and-”

 

“The others?” Stephen asks horrified. “You fought against more than one of them?”

 

“We didn’t fight,” Peter argues. “Not really.”

 

“Are you nuts?” Stephen asks in disbelief.

 

“Well,” Steve steps in between before they can get into an actual argument. “I think it was enough drama for a day,” he offers.

 

“Now I see why Tony sounded...” Stephen pauses. “The way he did.” He sighs. “Fine, let me check on you and put his mind at ease, okay? I promise I won’t say any more about the issue.”

 

Peter nods tentatively.

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

Steve looks up from his book when he hears the door to their living room being opened. He glances at the clock, realizing it’s only been two hours since everything went down. So it can’t be Tony. It’s probably Bruce or Clint. Steve sighs. He should really go and look for him, he thinks. He hates arguing with Tony and he wishes they could settle everything fast.

 

He also figures that he can’t blame Tony for the feelings he has and for not being able to leave everything behind so easily. This is not a fairytale. They all have their baggage to carry. Steve still feels frustrated, but not because of Tony… rather because of the general situation. He wonders what else he could do to-

 

“Hi.”

 

Steve looks up, to his surprise it’s neither Bruce nor Clint. “Tony?”

 

Tony closes the door behind him, leaning against it. “You were right,” he states much to Steve’s surprise. He was already bracing himself inwardly for an argument. “I was unfair. I don’t blame you anymore, Steve. It’s just sometimes the memories come back and I don’t know how to deal with everything.”

 

“I know,” Steve says quietly. “I was also being unfair. I can’t tell you not to feel the way you do. I wish we could leave everything behind, but I understand it’s not that simple.”

 

Tony sighs. “It’s not just about my parents. I saw Barnes today, and he seems like a decent person, which is why...”

 

Steve looks at Tony thoughtfully. So that’s why. It slowly dawns on him. Tony probably even liked Bucky which confused him further. Steve smiles carefully. “But don’t flirt with him too much.”

 

“Oh Steve,” Tony rolls his eyes, for a moment a playful glint appears in his eyes. “He was flirting with me, not the other way round~”

 

Before Steve can say something – anything to make Tony forget about this here, and teasing him further with finding Bucky attractive – there is a knock at the door. “Timing...” Steve mutters quietly, but still opens the door. It’s Peter.

 

“I’m looking for Tony,” Peter says, blushing slightly.

 

Steve throws Tony a glance, trying to project so much through it, yet wondering if Tony will be able to read anything at all. It’s hard to communicate just with eyes, he thinks. But to his surprise Tony just sighs and nods. “Come in, I’m here.”

 

“I will just...” Steve pauses. “Just go and grab something to drink meanwhile.”

 

Peter shakes his head. “No, you can stay.”

 

Steve is surprised, but doesn’t say anything. He wonders if it would still be better to leave them alone, but then curiosity wins over, obviously.

 

“It’s just… I want you to know, I wasn’t on patrol tonight,” Peter admits, blushing slightly. “I wanted to keep it a secret, but then you got so mad at me. And I thought maybe it’s better to just tell you...”

 

“Tell me what?” Tony asks, surprised. “Where were you?”

 

Peter blushes further. “On the roof, I was just sitting there.”

 

Tony stares at him in disbelief. “You were on the roof?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You know how high this building is, Pete?”

 

“That’s why I was wearing the suit,” Peter admits.

 

Tony and Steve exchange a glance. “What were you doing on the roof?” Tony asks after a while.

 

“It’s quiet there,” Peter admits. “I was just...” He pauses, brushing through his hair. His gaze goes from Tony to Steve back to Tony.

 

“I think now it’s time for a beer,” Steve says in a matter-of-fact tone. He knows Peter invited him to stay, a small offer of peace, he assumes, but at the same time he knows he doesn’t want to share everything in front of him yet. He has to respect that too.

 

For now it’s better to leave these two alone.

 

 

 

Steve wonders how long he is supposed to stay away. Gladly he meets Natasha on his way and they have a beer together. She wants to know everything about Tony and Bucky meeting, apparently she didn’t quite believe Rhodey when he told her. It’s a good distraction, Steve thinks, and maybe he can get some advice from her. They chat a bit, but eventually he realizes he has to go back or the others might start asking questions, thinking he and Tony might be arguing again… which they aren’t. Not really.

 

When he peeks into the large living room, he finds Tony and Peter… working. Peter is biting into a sandwich while Tony shows him something on a few layouts. “You think this will work?” Peter muses.

 

“I’m sure it will.”

 

It’s good to see these two like that, Steve thinks, a warm feeling spreading in his chest. Tony always looks happy when he is with Peter. Steve realizes he wants to do everything for Tony to stay that way, to keep this smile. Maybe it sounds stupid to others, but seeing this two together just makes him realize that Tony’s smile is worth so many things. He wants to protect it at all costs.

 

“Ah,” Tony looks up, surprised when he sees Steve. “Steve! Took you long to grab a beer!”

 

Peter grins “Did you think we would rip our heads off or that’s how long we take to make up?”

 

Tony furrows his eyebrows. “No need to be cheeky towards him. He wasn’t the one swinging from the roof into the building in best Tarzan-style and accidentally attacking a bunch of superheroes.”

 

Steve chuckles softly. “I’m just relieved that nothing worse happened to you.”

 

“These spiderwebs are handy, aren’t they?” Petter beams. When Tony throws him a glare, he blushes. “I meant to say: Sorry, Steve.”

 

Steve grins. Genuine apology – almost.

 

“Tony said,” Peter throws a glance at Tony. “That he sees no reason to punish me in any way, because I was just on the roof for alone time. So… if that’s okay with you too?”

 

Steve has to fight a real battle inside this time not to crack up laughing. Peter prompting him into saying everything is okay, and Tony glaring at Peter because they all know that’s not what Tony asked him to say to Steve… it’s so hilarious. “I need to think about that,” Steve says earnestly.

 

When Tony grins slightly, obviously looking right through him, and Peter blinks in shock, he can’t help it anymore. He chuckles. “Just get out of here, Peter, and be more careful next time.”

 

“Thank you,” Peter calls out in relief, and grabs his bag. “I’m going to Ned’s place now. Is it okay if I stay overnight? I’ll be back for lunch tomorrow.”

 

Tony nods. “Sure thing.”

 

Once he is gone, Steve wraps his arms around Tony. “Now someone else needs to stop working and instead relax with his boyfriend.”

 

Tony flashes him a careful smile, turning in his hug to face him. “I love you, Steve.”

 

“But?” Steve prompts him, feeling that there is something still on Tony’s mind. “It’s not the conversation from before, is it?” he asks carefully. “Sokovia and-”

 

“No,” Tony pauses. “Or maybe yes. But not the way you think it is.”

 

“Talk to me,” Steve urges softly. “I will listen.”

 

“You won’t be mad?”

 

Steve tilts his head. “I can’t promise anything on the feeling-department,” he states carefully. “But I’m all level-headed this time and ready to listen.”

 

“It’s not what you think I want to say,” Tony begins carefully. “Not anything about guilt or blame or anything alike. Sometimes I just have the feeling...” He pauses and to Steve’s surprise he looks sad all of a sudden. "Don't you think... sometimes...” Tony looks to the ground. “That so much broke between us that we can't really mend it?" he asks quietly. “Aren’t you scared that we can’t fix what we broke?”

 

Steve tilts his head, instantly realizing that this is something Tony has been pondering over a lot. Maybe it’s because in their way of thinking Tony is a bit more complicated, and Steve maybe a bit too naive, but he is indeed a bit shocked and sad that Tony feels that way. On a second thought it makes sense of course. It’s not like Steve can’t understand it, it’s more that it… saddens him. Yet he wants to take Tony’s worries seriously and not brush them off like he did before "I think," he says after a while. "That we indeed broke a lot, you are right with saying that. But what you refuse to see is that we also mended a lot. We made mistakes, we lied, we hurt each other, but after all of this we came out of this whole story as two different people.” He pauses. “You know... maybe I'm wrong, but I think it wouldn't have worked out between us if we gave our relationship a shot right at the beginning."

 

Tony looks at him thoughtfully. "You might be right," he muses. "You would have killed me at one point. You find some of my antics endearing now, but you would have found them annoying back then."

 

"And you would have killed me," Steve admits. "But today... I am less stressed and more relaxed, and I don't take every little teasing too seriously. I've learned that there is more to people than meets my eye, and that not everything is black and white. It's not that simple. Hadn't I been a fugitive myself, I don't think I would have even noticed." He pauses. "And you... you mellowed down, you actually got domestic, you got more serious and you are not hiding your fears and weaknesses like you did before. You are mentoring and tutoring a teen and you are not running from your responsibilities anymore."

 

Tony smiles. "If you put it like that, we sound like two awesome dudes."

 

"I think we work well together," Steve nuzzles his nose into Tony's hair. He smiles when he feels Tony's fingers moving through his hair. “I could say _I love you_ right now, Tony, but you know that already. So maybe this time I should say: I trust you.”

 

Tony’s fingers stop moving for a split second. Tony smiles at him. “I trust you too, Steve.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know why I always write Bucky so... chilled and nice. It might be completely OOC, I have honestly no idea. *fail* I think the whole confrontation went way better than anyone would have anticipated it, didn't it? 
> 
> Also I hope Steve didn't come accross as too... pushy or ignorant during his little confrontation with Tony in the workshop. He was just frustrated too. It's not that he doesn't understand, but it's not that simple for him either. But hey, I think they finally reached a real mutual understanding at the end ^^
> 
> I also I'm thinking about wrapping this up in the next chapter. I think 9 chapters are enough considering this story is more of an emotional fix... What do you think?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Bucky make up. Peter and Steve clash one last time. And Tony celebrats his birthday.

Tony has realized a while ago that he actually hates big parties. He used to love them before because they gave him distraction and he could just drink all the pain away, and have random sex with a random stranger. But things are different now, and he is far more domestic than he ever was before.

 

He also came to realize though that he still likes to party… just with his favourite people around him, and with his friends, in a healthy atmosphere. This time he has invited Bucky too, mainly to make Steve happy and to show him that he is making progress as a person too. Bucky is important to Steve, and seeing how Steve tries to get along with Rhodey and Peter is inspiring in a way. Tony wants to do something for him in return.

 

And Steve’s favourite person is Bucky after all.

 

What he didn’t expect though was Bucky’s overjoyed reaction to being invited. He also didn’t expect him to bring flowers along for Tony, because apparently that’s how they did things in the 40s. And… he didn’t expect him to engulf him in a talk. A weird, ridiculous, but also kinda funny talk.

 

“So, how is my favourite tiny person doing?” Bucky asks with a wink when he and Sam join Tony and Rhodey.

 

Tony looks at him, raising his eyebrows. “Are you talking with me?”

 

“Well, there is just one of your size in the room~” Bucky grins.

 

Tony frowns, trying his hardest to ignore Rhodey’s blatant grin. “You are just so close-” he shows the distance from approximately one centimetre with his fingers. “-to getting kicked out by me.”

 

Bucky chuckles. “Don’t get me wrong. You are an eye-catcher. No wonder Steve feels so protective of you.”

 

“Oh please,” Tony rolls his eyes.

 

“You need to hang up a dream-catcher in your room, otherwise all of Stevie’s dirty dreams are flying around and probably infecting others.”

 

“Jeez, Bucky!” Sam groans.

 

Tony bites down on his lips. “Here, have a drink,” he says, shoving a glass with cocktail in Bucky’s hands. “But please stop talking.”

 

“It’s pink,” Bucky states blandly.

 

“I know. Peter decided to test some food colouring. Don’t ask further please.”

 

“Oh,” Bucky beams. “Meanwhile I can tell you some of Steve’s best-kept secrets when he was a teen. Do you want to hear them?”

 

Actually, yes, Tony is dying to hear them. He bends forward a bit. “Tell me all you know!”

 

Bucky’s gaze shifts a bit from Tony to a spot behind him. He smirks. “Maybe later.”

 

“Oh,” Tony turns around. “Hi Steve.”

 

Steve crosses his arms in front of his body. “Barnes!”

 

“We were just talking about you,” Bucky teases.

 

“That’s exactly the reason I didn’t introduce you two to each other earlier,” Steve grumbles.

 

“And I thought the reason is that we almost killed each other in Siberia,” Bucky states with the blandest voice possible.

 

Tony half-snorts half-groans into his drink.

 

Steve furrows his eyebrows, glaring down at Bucky. Anyone else would have ran packing if faced by this glare, but apparently Bucky is immune to it. Tony is too. But that’s a different story.

 

“It’s your fault, you never told me that he is so cute,” Bucky complains. “I mean, you should have prepared me better!”

 

“I literally told you last week how hot he his,” Steve huffs.

 

Tony blinks. He did? Interesting. “You are telling others that you find me attractive?” Tony asks in interest.

 

Steve turns his head, blushing slightly. “What?” he mutters.

 

Out of the corner of his eyes he sees how Sam pulls Bucky away from them. “You are having way too much fun with this, Bucky.”

 

Tony wonders if he should stop Sam from doing so – because he is sure Bucky can rile Steve up a bit further, and it will pay off later when they are alone in the bedroom together. But on the other hand it’s also interesting to hear what Steve tells others about him… “So?” Tony smiles brightly. “I’m hot, huh?” He smiles his best seductive smile while he brushes over Steve’s arms. He stretches a bit to reach Steve’s ear. “You don’t need to worry, Steven. I have only eyes for you.”

 

He can see how Steve’s fingers are twitching. “Give me one reason now not to push you against the next wall and fuck you,” he mutters, very much untypical for Steve, but even hotter because it’s _Steve_.

 

“I don’t know, 30 people watching us isn’t reason enough?”

 

“I don’t care.” Steve rests his hand on the small of Tony’s back. “I want you now.”

 

Tony smirks. “How much time will you need?”

 

One of Steve’s eyebrows pop up. “To be done with you?”

 

Tony holds back a gasp. Shit, why the heck does he have to be good at dirty talk freaking now!? “Twenty minutes is the most I can give you… for now.”

 

“Plenty of time,” Steve mutters into Tony’s ear. His voice his hoarse and thick with all kind of emotions.

 

Tony turns around, smiling like they didn’t even have such a talk now. “Everyone please head to the rooftop. We are having a firework soon. And don’t forget your drinks!”

 

“Awesome,” Clint exclaims.

 

“Grab some snacks,” Thor calls out towards Natasha.

 

Tony watches them all shuffle outside. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.,” he says once they are alone. “Occupy them for at least twenty minutes.”

 

“I will start the long fireworks action program then.”

 

Tony smirks while he turns around. “And now, Captain, make it count~”

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

Tony groans while shifting under the blankets. Maybe, just maybe, they went a little overboard yesterday. Steve did make it count during the fireworks, and then he made it count again… later. “Shit, Steve, you kinky bastard.”

 

Steve smacks his butt not too gently, making Tony yelp and moan at the same time. Steve smirks. “You are enjoying me spanking you, and yet you call me a kinky bastard?”

 

Before Tony can complain or argue or save his pride in any other way Steve kisses him, his hand wandering downwards.

 

Tony admits defeat.

 

He faces no chance. This Steve is like the impersonation of the devil, and Tony loves it. Not that he would ever admit it so openly.

 

 

 

 

He wakes up again hours later when the sun is shining into their room. He stretches a bit, groaning when he tries to sit up.

 

“Is everything alright?” Steve asks in worry. He is looking almost scandalously well put together. Asshole. He blinks slightly. “You look like you are about to kill me.”

 

“I can hardly move, how am I even supposed to get up now? So, yes I _am_ about to kill you,” Tony huffs. “And I will, if you don’t stop grinning like an idiot, just because you are a bit more skilled in bed and have more stamina than the average person.”

 

Steve chuckles. “Good to hear that you liked my performance~”

 

Tony narrows his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Steve says with a smile, and they both know the doesn’t mean it. But Tony forgets to complain when Steve kisses his temples first, then his eyelids, the tip of his nose, and indulges him in a way only Steve can do it. “I will make breakfast for you. What do you want?”

 

“A smoothie,” Tony smiles when Steve peppers his face with kisses. “And ham & eggs. Oh, and toast with avocado!”

 

Steve snorts in amusement. “The average person would just name one of these things.”

 

“Well, I’m not your average person~”

 

“Yes,” Steve chuckles. “It obviously takes one to notice one.”

 

Tony laughs slightly and smacks Steve’s leg while the latter climbs out of the bed.

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

One hot shower later Tony feels refreshed again, and like an actual person. He does feel a bit sore from last night, but it’s definitely the good kind of pain. The one he would like to repeat immediately if he could.

 

Steve indeed prepared all his breakfast wishes and they spend the morning together. “Do you already know how you want to celebrate your birthday?” Steve wants to know.

 

“No, I just know one thing.”

 

“And what’s that?”

 

Tony raises his eyebrows. “No presents.”

 

“Sure,” Steve agrees immediately, much to Tony’s suspicion.

 

“Are you just agreeing so fast to indulge me, while you secretly do whatever you want?” Tony asks.

 

“Exactly,” Steve states with a deadpan expression. “I’ve learned that it’s the easiest way to deal with you when you are so stubborn about something.”

 

“Steven!”

 

“Anthony!”

 

Tony frowns, feeling slightly irritated. “You want to play that game, Steve?”

 

“I’m not playing games at all,” Steve states calmly. “I love you. And no matter if you like it or not, I will get you something for your birthday. I’m thankful for you in my life. And there is no way I will not celebrate the day of your existence!”

 

Tony blushes slightly. “You…” he mutters.

 

“Yes?”

 

“You do whatever you want anyway,” Tony rolls his eyes. “So give me the bread instead.”

 

Steve smiles slightly, but to Tony’s relief lets the topic rest.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Steve roams the shop thoughtfully, checking the pieces Peter is showing him. "And you think purple is the colour to go?" Steve asks, feeling a bit sceptical.

 

"Of course," Peter states with conviction. "Tony loves purple!"

 

"Really?"

 

"Totally, he wanted to paint the living room in this colour just a year ago."

 

Steve nods tentatively, eyeing the item in his hands.

 

“And you think your wallet will survive this?” Peter asks in worry when they continue roaming the shopping mall together. Steve has asked him for help to find a fitting birthday present for Tony. He wants to give him something he will love.

 

“I do have money, Peter,” Steve chuckles. “Obviously not Stark-level, but I have enough money to buy him a present.”

 

“And here I thought you were living off his wallet,” Peter muses.

 

Steve raises his eyebrows, throwing him an irritated gaze before he can stop himself from doing so. But he is human too for Christ’s sake, and he can’t always have his reactions at check.

 

“Sorry,” Peter blushes much to Steve’s surprise. “This was impolite, even for my standards! It came out completely wrong. I didn’t even mean it like that.”

 

Steve sighs in relief that there was no ill intention behind Peter’s words. “I know that Tony provides the Avengers with everything. Without him we would be nothing.”

 

“He does the same for me,” Peter points out. “If anyone is living off him, it’s me. Without him I wouldn’t even be able to afford a higher education.”

 

“He doesn't see it that way,” Steve says softly.

 

Peter just shrugs.

 

“I know he doesn’t, Peter. He even told me. He loves you.” Steve smiles. “You are like the child he never had. He is very happy to mentor you.”

 

“Really?” Peter asks, a slight flush on his cheeks.

 

“Really. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

 

They roam the shops for a bit longer until Steve decides he will come back during one of the next days. He still needs to think properly what to give Tony after all. Instead he invites Peter for lunch and then drops him at Ned’s place before he drives back home.

 

“I’ve decided,” Tony tells him over coffee. “I want to celebrate my birthday with the people closest to me. Like you and Peter, Rhodey, Pepper, maybe also Bruce and Natasha. But I don’t want to upset anyone, which is why I will throw a party on the weekend after my birthday and celebrate with the whole bunch too.”

 

“Sounds like a wonderful idea,” Steve smiles brightly. “Do you want to have dinner on your birthday? Or if you want to I could organize a barbecue. Depending on how casual you would like to have it, of course.”

 

Tony beams. “This is a great idea, Steve. Would you really do that? I tend to get… you know… sometimes...”

 

“You get?” Steve prompts softly.

 

“A bit anxious around my birthday. I don’t have that many good memories of this day, and-” Tony blushes.

 

“I would be happy to help.” Steve reaches out his hand, touching Tony’s cheek softly. His chest feels warm all of a sudden. He realizes that recently he sees Tony smile a lot more and also rely on him a lot more. He is way more open and outgoing. “If you let me, I would like to organize everything.”

 

“Really?” Tony asks in surprise. “But I can’t let you do all the work.”

 

“Of course you can,” Steve chuckles. “I would love to do it. In fact you are indulging me by allowing me to surprise you a little.”

 

“Just so you know, as for cakes I love interesting toppings. Like a cherry on top or-”

 

“Oh,” Steve smirks. “I knew you would say that~”

 

Tony blinks, then he chuckles. “Oh, you.” His smile turns fond. “You idiot.”

 

Steve pulls him closer. “Oh, how I like when you insult me,” he teases. “Come on, kick me, bite me, give me names~”

 

Tony stares at him for a moment, before he laughs. It might sound weird to others, but for Steve it’s the biggest reward to see Tony laugh and be happy. He feels Tony’s breath against his neck, and then eager lips suddenly peppering kisses all over his shoulder up to chin. “Since when are you so good at this?” Tony mutters while he sucks at Steve’s collarbone.

 

Steve hugs Tony even closer. “I learned from the best.”

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

Steve has fulfilled his promise to Tony and organized a little gathering with his closest friends for his birthday. He has kept it rather casual, like Tony asked him to. They are having a little garden party with barbecue and cake and champagne, and thankfully the weather is warm and sunny.

 

“Before we eat, you have to open your presents,” Happy states. “I’ve been dying to know what everyone got you.”

 

“Yeah,” Rhodey grins. “I want to know what others give a billionaire. You need to be creative!”

 

“I’m happy about everything,” Tony says. “As long as it comes from the heart.”

 

He probably really means that. Tony likes every present he gets, even if it doesn’t fit his taste or if it’s something he would have never bought for himself. He just loves the feeling that someone put thought into it, and he cherishes it.

 

"I am so happy to celebrate this day with the people I love the most," Tony smiles. "Nothing can ruin this day."

 

“So, presents it is. How about you open my present first?” Steve suggests with a smile. Out of the corner of his eyes he can see how Peter shifts around nervously.

 

"No way," Rhodey shakes his head. "Lover's present comes last. It's always the best."

 

"Well," Steve winks. "This year I had a little birdie giving me some advice."

 

"Now I am even more curious," Tony chuckles.

 

The colour on Peter's face goes from rose-toned to actual pale, growing whiter with every present Tony opens. When Steve finally hands Tony his two nicely wrapped packages, Peter finally dares to protest. "Maybe this is something for a more...private moment?" he asks, slight panic in his voice.

 

"Why?" Rhodey asks in surprise, before he rolls his eyes. "Oh, no, please don't let there be a dildo inside."

 

"Don't worry," Steve answers dryly. "I will hand Tony his newest sex toys later, in private"

 

"Too much information," Rhodey sighs dramatically.

 

Tony grins while he carefully unwraps Steve's presents. The bigger one first. "This is..." he pauses, his eyes widen. "So beautiful, Steve!"

 

To Steve's utmost amusement Peter blinks in confusion, his eyes widening when Tony reveals the item to his friends. It's a picture Steve painted for him, with Tony in the middle and all his friends surrounding him. "This is so beautiful," Tony mumbles, his voice hoarse. He is clearly touched.

 

Steve smiles. "I wanted to give you something personal."

 

Tony shows him a genuine smile. "Thank you," he says happily, before chuckling slightly. "Interesting choice of colour for Peter's sweater by the way." He laughs. "What are you wearing here, Pete? Do you have that in your wardrobe?"

 

Steve smirks when Peter eyes the picture curiously, blushing when he sees himself in the ugly purple sweater he wanted Steve to buy originally. "Yeah, he bought it recently when we were out," Steve says with a grin. "Told me purple is his favourite colour."

 

"Oh, is that so?" Tony looks at Peter. "Why did you never say anything? I mean, I know I told you I hate that colour, but it doesn't mean I would stop you from wearing it. We could have chosen your furniture in purple and-"

 

"No!" Peter blurts out in panic. "I mean, no thank you," he hurries to add. "I... yes... I like purple... sometimes. I was just in a mood."

 

"Oh, were you?" Steve asks innocently, enjoying Peter's look of confusion and slight horror at the prospect of being surrounded by purple furniture.

 

"What's in the second parcel?" Tony asks curiously.

 

"Open it," Steve urges.

 

Tony opens the small package, eyes widening in surprise. "A bracelet," he mumbles in awe. It's a leather band with little shells on it. "You didn't make it yourself, did you?" Tony asks.

 

"No, I'm not that confident in my abilities," Steve admits. "But a friend who is also a jeweller did it for me. I provided the materials though," he says with a smile. "They were from a trip I really enjoyed."

 

A small blush appears on Tony's cheeks while he touches the shells softly. He smiles genuinely. "I love it."

 

The others have the decency to pretend they have still something to prepare for their dinner and leave them alone. Steve helps Tony fix the bracelet. “You really like it?” he asks nervously. “I felt a bit uncertain...you know, fashion is more your forte than mine. And-”

 

“Steve, it’s beautiful.” In Tony’s eyes he can see a rare glimmer. “I love it.”

 

“Good,” Steve sighs in relief.

 

Tony nods with a fond smile. “Good.”

 

 

~~~

 

Peter helps him bringing the bowls with salad to the table. "How did you know?" he asks, sounding embarrassed.

 

“Know what?” Steve asks casually.

 

Peter sighs. “The present...”

 

"Oh kid," Steve grins. "You fool me once, shame on you. You fool me twice, shame on me."

 

"Good thing you noticed," Peter mumbles. "I would have hated to ruin his birthday. I didn't think in advance... again."

 

"I doubt that a sweater would have been enough to ruin this day for him," Steve argues.

 

"Still..." Peter looks away flustered.

 

"Yeah, it's better that way."

 

“I kinda forgot about it,” Peter admits. “That I gave you that stupid advice. I… you are pretty cool, Steve.”

 

Steve stares at him in surprise. “Sorry, did you just really say that?”

 

“I’m not going to repeat it,” Peter mutters. “But you weren’t mad at me when I tricked you into going into that bar. And you were also helping me make up with Tony after I accidentally attacked you and Bucky and the others. That was… nice. And I didn’t expect it.”

 

“You didn’t expect me to be nice?” Steve asks carefully, wondering what kind of image the kid has of him.

 

“No, I didn’t expect you to be nice to me,” Peter admits.

 

“Tony means a lot to you,” Steve says quietly. “And he means a lot to me. So in a way we are on the same page here. I have no intention to let Tony go again. And you are part of his life. So like it or not, you are part of my life too.”

 

Peter blinks, then he cracks a grin. “If you say it like that, it sounds scary. Just for your information, I’m probably immune to your look of disapproval. They show your detention video in school.”

 

“They still do that?” Steve sighs. No wonder Peter isn’t his biggest fan.

 

“Yeah,” Peter grins. “It kinda sucks. You are cooler when you are not in that video.”

 

“You don’t say,” Steve snorts.

 

For a moment Peter looks at him like he is not sure how to continue, until Steve squeezes his shoulder slightly. “Come, Peter, let’s just move on from here, okay?”

 

Peter nods happily, following Steve to the living room where Bruce is about to open a bottle with champagne. Steve sneaks behind Tony, placing his hands on his hips from behind and kissing his neck softly when no one is watching. He can see how Tony blushes first before he shows him a genuine smile.

 

“So,” he whispers. “Going by Peter’s shocked expression you managed to trick him this time? You need to tell me all about that later.”

 

Stephen grins. “Finally I scored a point.”

 

“I love how fast you are learning, Captain,” Tony teases.

 

“Just wait until later. Maybe I can show you something new later tonight~”

 

“Dirty talk while someone might hear us?” Tony whispers with a grin spreading across his face. “I like it.”

 

Steve snorts. “Why am I not surprised?”

 

“Hey, when are we finally going to eat?” Peter asks into the room.

 

“Right, I forgot,” Rhodey is up his feet immediately. “Happy and I are going to be responsible for the barbecue. Bring us meat!”

 

“The more the merrier,” Happy adds.

 

Pepper rolls her eyes. “You know, a few potatoes and tomatoes wouldn’t do you any harm either.”

 

Happy and Rhodey exchanges a glance. “Whatever you say, Pep,” Rhodey mutters.

 

Pepper sighs and follows them outside. Steve waits for everyone else to have left before he takes Tony’s hand. His heart skips a beat when he feels Tony squeezing his hand in return, a smile lightening up his face.

 

When Steve looks down at their hands it looks like they are one. A bit like magic. In this moment Steve swears to himself to protect that magic as long as he lives and as long as Tony allows him to. He is not going to lose it again.

 

“Come,” Tony tugs at his hand, he sounds happy. “I’m hungry.”

 

Steve nods with a smile. He is going to give whatever it takes to protect what they have.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this will be the last chapter! It's only 9 chapters, mainly because this little story was just my first attempt to write a longer Stony story. You know, a little experiment. But now I have so many ideas flying around in my head, that I wanted to finish this and start something new. 
> 
> And I think I have told all there is to tell here (I mean, it is a rather calm and fluffy get-together story, and I didn't want to drag it out any longer)
> 
> I hope you liked this small story! And the last chapter that wraps it up. As always your comments and feedback are appreciated and loved!
> 
> Thank you to all of you who read this and commented and showed your support ♥ It means a lot to me!! Thank you so much ♥♥♥


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